


What Comes Next

by IchigoNiko



Category: K - Fandom, K Project, Project K - Fandom
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-03-14
Updated: 2015-04-12
Packaged: 2017-12-05 07:38:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 28,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/720510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IchigoNiko/pseuds/IchigoNiko
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Yata finds his ex-best friend, lying cold in an alley way, every fight they've ever had goes out the window. Hate is something forgotten as the redhead is unable to let him go so soon, unable to part with him when so much has been left unsaid.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Yata's Side

When Yata had heard that his enemy, rival, ex-partner and best friend, Fushimi Saruhiko was missing, no matter what he felt he and select other from HOMRA had joined in the search.

Yata was trying to keep it together, he really was, but members like Rikio, Izumo, and Chitose who knew him well enough could tell he was falling apart at the seams, barely keeping it together as he explained how they’d divide the city between themselves and Scepter 4. Yata was surprised by how willing the Blue King was to let him help, take a little control. Maybe the man was nice, compassionate, sympathetic…or maybe he also saw the expression in the redhead’s eyes, the pain there that Yata refused to feel yet.

They’re off then and Yata skates through the city faster than he thinks he ever had before, checking basements, shady dealings, searching…searching…searching for hours until he makes it to the outskirts, the sun starting to dip below the horizon. 

Blue catches his eyes and he speeds down, skidding as his eyes widen at the sight in front of him.

“S…Saru…hiko…?”

He rushes over and his hands stark softly pressing over the blue’s body, searching for a pulse he can’t find. 

“Saruhiko! Come on, come on, say something, open your eyes.” He commands as he still can’t find a pulse. “OPEN YOUR EYES!” 

He’s gentle but quick as he lays the teen on his back, opening his mouth to breath into him, hands pressing down on his still chest. 1….2….1….2….1….2….

Nothing…nothing. Yata knows it’s no used but he can’t stop as he pumps.1….2….1….2….

“No…No! Saru…” His voice hitches, a sob choking him, breathless from trying to push all of his breath into the blue below him. 

“Don’t leave me here! Don’t…you can’t!”

His head falls onto Saruhiko’s chest as he sobs, choking, gasping, hands curling into the other’s bloody uniform.

“Saru…please god…please…I beg you.” He sniffles and chokes another sob. “Please!” He screams and with shaky hands pulls out his pda, dialing for emergency. “Please! I need someone quick! M-M-My friend..” He stammers out, crying to hard to really form words.

“My friend, he’s hurt, really hurt please quick, He needs help.”

The man on the other end of the phone is asking questions and Yata gets frustrated, angry, upset that they’re still talking and there’s no moving happening. “Please sir!” He shouts. “I’ll answer whatever you want when you get here ok?! He’s hurt and there’s a lot of blood and he could be dead! He needs help! He needs….I need….” He’s crying hard again and there are firm voices on the phone, the man telling someone to move, asking in a gentle voice for Yata’s location. He gives it and hangs up the phone, dropping it to continue trying to pump blood to Saru’s heart.

1…2…1…2…1…2…

“Hold on Saru ok? Please hold on….I know you’re in there. Stay, stay, stay…please? I’m sorry…whatever I did I’m sorry. I’M SORRY!” 

He’s still pumping, hoping that if he can keep it up for just a little longer they can shock his heart, spark something that’s still in him.

“Just a…” He hiccups, “little longer. You’re stronger than this…the strongest ok? Come on…little longer please.”

He doesn’t stop. 1…2…1…2…1…2… 

“You promised! You promised me dammit! I won’t let you break it! I won’t, I won’t I-“

_“Hey Saru?” he had asked from his spot on the floor, head in Saruhiko’s lap, staring up as the dark haired boy’s fingers pressed rapidly on the buttons of his gameboy, absorbed._

_“Hm?” was the reply, distracted._

_“Saru.”_

_Finally he paused his game and looked down snapping “what?” in annoyance. Yata flinched a little at the tone and Saruhiko took a deep breath, his face softening. “What Misaki.” He tried again._

_“What happens next?”_

_Saru quirked an eyebrow and looked confused. “Next? Misaki I told you, go to sleep whenever you wish, you don’t need to stay up with me.”_

_“No.” Yata replied, shaking his head, “Next. After we die….like in the game. We don’t…get extra lives too…do we?”_

_The other boy looked down at the redhead, at his genuinely questioning face. ‘He was serious?’_

_Saruhiko started laughing, starting off softly then getting louder, almost doubling over but unable to because of the boy in his lap. “Extra lives? Honestly Misaki do you pay any attention in school? No we don’t get extra lives idiot.”_

_Yata was quiet for a long moment, seeming to think hard about something and Saru liked watching the expressions flit over his face._

_“Then what?” He finally asked. “What comes next?”_

_Saruhiko opened his mouth to say ‘heaven…duh’ but stopped, unable to say the words he had been taught in school all these years. The after life, heaven, some great paradise…all things that a young Saruhiko could barely wrap his head around._

_“Well….I don’t really know.” He said honestly. “I would have no way of knowing Misaki. Not until way later when we’re both old, really old.” One of his hands involuntarily moved down to run through chestnut hair._

_“Hm….when we’re old?” Yata looked up with big, innocent eyes. “Don’t go without me ok?” He blurted, one hand gripping the other’s shirt tightly in a small fist. “Promise me. We’ll go together.”_

_Saruhiko’s eyes widened and he didn’t understand where any of this is coming from, let alone why Yata wants to talk about death and the afterlife in the first place. You didn’t get to decide when you died. Fate didn’t work like that._

_“What? Misaki, what are you talking about? How can I prom-“_

_“Just do it!” Yata’s voice cut him off and Saruhiko looked down, looked into eyes so bright and filled with nothing but him that Saru didn’t know if he’d be able to say no._

_“Why?” He said instead._

_“Because….if we go together…neither of us will have to be alone for a second…and we can play more games right? Wherever we end up? Just like we do now? We won’t…be alone anymore. That was the deal right?”_

_Saruhiko’s throat went dry and he felt something in his chest tighten, maybe his heart. He didn’t know, he hadn’t felt such a sensation in a long time if ever._

_“Ok….I promise. We’ll go…together.” He said slowly, unable to fight back a smile when Yata’s returning grin is everything he wanted._

_“Pinky swear?” Yata asks, holding out his smallest finger for Saru to twine his with._

_“Ok…it’s a promise.”_

_“_ You bastard! we swore! We swore on it!” Yata presses, up, down, up, down, 1…2…1…2…

He’s growing tired and his arms hurt, his breath getting quicker as he gasps for it, panting, crying, choking, sobbing, the front of Saruhiko’s vest now a mess of blood and his tears, wet.

He hears sirens and when he sees the lights round the corner, there are people, shouting, someone pulling him away…two people holding him back as he protests, yells, tells them that they need to help…that they-

A man is talking to him, telling him how good he’s done, his compressions  how they may have saved Saruhiko, how they’re trying to do everything they can.

Not good enough. Not good enough. Not good enough!!!

Do more, do more, do more!!!

He’s tired, exhausted and probably looks like he’s about to pass out the way he is, covered in Saru’s blood, crying, eyes blood shot, voice hoarse from yelling.

They murmur calm, soothing words that Yata isn’t listening to, just letting the sound lull him a little as they let him get into the back of the ambulance, unable to see over the men that crowd around the blue’s body, but able to hear the shocks, the sounds. “One, two, clear! One, two, clear!”

His heart has never beat so fast and for the first time in Yata’s life, he closes his eyes and prays, to what he doesn’t know, but he wants nothing more than to see blue eyes staring at his…just like they used to.


	2. Saruhiko's Side

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Saruhiko wakes up and watches himself lay cold on the ground, dead, he's just about given up on his life, accepting his fate. But when he sees Yata's resolve and determination to keep him alive, Saru needs to decide if he's really ready to move on or if another chance is really what he wants.  
> ((This chapter is written by http://ask-saruhiko-fushimi.tumblr.com/))

_Please…help me. It hurts. I can’t stand this. Please…_

_Help!_

The swordsman awoke gasping for breath, sweat dripping off his forehead. Those voices…what were they? Sure the Blue didn’t have the greatest mental stability, but he’d never heard voices before. Was it just a nightmare? Hopefully that were the case—he’d be able to get over it much sooner. 

He sits up, though the act is much harder than it should be, and it’s painful no doubt. The Blue finds himself in an empty alleyway, lacking the memory of how he got here, or how he’d manage to pass out in a place like this. Then he looked over, and what he saw was enough to make his eyes go wide and make him scream.

His own body…beaten, bruised, bloodied, and worst of all not moving. 

With trembling hands, he pulled himself off the ground, staggering backwards as he tried his best to piece things together. 

_Help me. Please get me out of here!_

‘ _Shut up_!’ he shouts, holding his head in his hands as he tries to shake the voices. He’s alive…he knows he is. So why does he see his own body cold and lifeless on the ground in front of him. He looks back at himself, body shaking, weight unable to hold him up. The swordsman is soon leaning into the wall to keep himself upright. He feels like he could be sick, but was that even possible in his state? What was his state? ‘ _Get up! What the hell are you doing laying there? Get up_ now!’

Fushimi wasn’t sure how long he’d been standing there, silently screaming at himself to get up. This was all just some horrible dream that he’d wake up from…eventually, right? He’d already seen the scariest bit. This was bad enough so just wake up already!

_Come with us. Help us!_

He screams again, back to holding his head inbetween his hands. It hurts enough to make him fall to his knees, shaking in the fear that this might be real after all. What did this mean for him? Was he dead? The Blue didn’t even remember how it had happened.

Then he hears a shuffling, and his head snaps up at the person who’d finally come to find him. Much to his further horror do his eyes set on the dark beanie and white headphones, and he jumps up as if standing between his body and the vanguard would prevent him from seeing. 

But the Red runs right by him, straight to the dead body behind him. Saruhiko can’t get himself to turn around and look, his feet planted in place as he hears screaming cries behind him. ‘Misaki…’

Further fear sets in. If he is dead, that’d be the end of everything. Misaki would surely forget him now. After a little while he’d only be a memory in the back of his mind. Even more of a reason to try and will himself alive, though the act of trying to communicate with his own body was much too hard now. 

A hand raises to his face, and he feels tears form at his eyes. It stings and he can’t help but begin to cry out as well. ‘I’m so sorry. I’m sorry, Misaki. For everything. I just…wanted you to see me like you saw them and…I’m so sorry.’ 

He stumbles back against the wall, sliding down until he hits the ground. It was like his body had lost all of its energy, and his feet just couldn’t keep him up anymore. Seeing Yata try so hard, it tore at him inside. For so long they’d been fighting, petty arguments and clashing of weapons that they were unable to reconcile their differences.

And now he was—he hated to say it—dead. 

The tears that had stung his eyes earlier were already streaking down his face. Usually he’d hide such a thing, but no one saw him anymore anyways. What was the point of hiding? The guilt of the years he’d been separated coming back to him; and here Yata was calling for help and trying to keep him going when it was a futile attempt. There was no saving him. Even if they did, hadn’t his brain shut down for too long?

‘ _I’m sorry, Misaki.’ he whispers after a choked cry. ‘I’m not as strong as you think I am. I’m not.._.’

Those voices come back, screaming at him louder than before…clearer than before. He’s almost certain that he’ll lose his mind, trapped and tortured with the pleas he hears. 

Fushimi forces himself up—forces himself to drag his feet over to Misaki. They feel so heavy, the task takes more out of him than it should, and he drops back to his knees as soon as he’s there. ‘ _Misaki…it’s okay_.’ He places his hand on the vanguard’s shoulder, with little effort in tugging him away. He wonders if the other can feel it, though it’s unlikely.

‘ _You don’t have to try anymore. It’ll be harder on you. I’m tired, that’s all. I’m going to sleep for a little bit_.’ And even as he tries to convince the other of this, he’s trying to convince himself; but the tears don’t stop.

‘ _It’s enough. Thank you, Misaki_.’

At this point, Fushimi had really given up on any hope that he’d make it through this. It had been something he’d accepted the moment he didn’t wake up the instant he tried forcing it. Nothing was happening, and he was just too tired to fight back anymore. He’d settle and go to the Hell that was apparently calling for him. 

And maybe he didn’t mind it so much anyways. Yata had come for him—had gone out of his way to look for him when he’d probably been missing for some time. It made him more than happy, to know that the other was thinking about him. It had always been what he longed for, obsessed over. At some point the idea of fighting for his attention through hatred had just failed to be enough, and he’d hoped for what they used to have.

Only to have his life taken from him—slipped away by something he still didn’t know about. The memory wouldn’t come to him. All he did remember was being out on patrol. Things were going completely normal and okay and he had been heading back to the building. There were shortcuts through the alleys, and he took them on such a constant basis that he was never bothered by them. And then…then… _what_?

It sends a pain through his head, and he has to rub his temples with his fingers to stop the throbbing of a headache. You’d think that after dying you wouldn’t feel pain anymore—physical or mental; but he was dealing with both, and it hurt him more than he could manage.

He still hopes to pull at the vanguard until he gives up, knowing that things aren’t going to go quite according to Yata’s wishes this time. Maybe he just has little faith in life, but it just didn’t look good for him. After all who knows how long he’d been here, motionless and dead to the world. It could have been minutes, hours. He didn’t quite suspect days, thinking that he wouldn’t even be here as is if he were truly gone.

That time was coming, though. Feeling so tired and not having the usual energy he did, Fushimi knew he wouldn’t be staying much longer. He soon heard the sirens coming and pulled away, standing off to the side as he watched events unfold. Misaki had become a mess by this point—hysterics in every word and action. It sent a jolt of guilt through him. He caused this, and this was entirely his fault. 

He watches as they move Yata into the ambulance to rest, a paramedic handing him a blanket and seating him on the bench inside the back of the van. He watches as the paramedics quickly move him onto a stretcher and continue compressions where Yata had left off. They’re hooking him up to machines, clearly not finding any pulse or hearing any heartbeat. 

It’s pointless. Why are they still trying?

He moves to the back of the ambulance, peering in to see the Red leaning against the wall of the van, face blank and emotionless. Fushimi wishes he could call someone to pick him up. Izumo, maybe…or hell, maybe even Mikoto. All he knows is that Yata shouldn’t be around for this much longer. ‘I’m sorry I couldn’t keep my promise.’ He mutters with a sad smile, ‘ _This was one I honestly wanted to keep. I’ve let you down again, haven’t I, Misaki?_ ’

_One, two, clear!_

He hears the first shock, though nothing happens to him. Fushimi doesn’t feel a thing from where he’s at, and it only reinforces the idea that he’s a hopeless cause that they’re all wasting their time with.  For a moment, his attention averts from Misaki, turning back to his own lifeless body as they try to shock his heart into working. When he reaches a hand up to his chest, he doesn’t feel his heartbeat. The second shock was the same as the first, and he wondered how many paramedics usually attempted before calling it off completely.

_One, two, clear!_

There’s a sudden pain in his chest, and it knocks the breath out of him. He’s gasping for air as he falls to his hands and knees, eyes wide in shock. That…that should not have hurt the way it did. He hadn’t felt the shocks prior to this one…so why was there a difference?

Then he hears a beep on the machine. It’s quick and doesn’t last long, but it was there, and he sees the renewed hope in the faces of the paramedics. The Blue, however, is still skeptical. If it had worked, then why was he still trapped on the outside like this? If his heart was really re-starting, wouldn’t he be back on the inside struggling to wake up?

Paramedics start compressions again, too afraid to shock his body again. One too many would damage his internal organs, and could potentially stop his heart for good. He knows this—he’s studied these things before. He wants to turn around and look at Yata again, but he’s not sure if the vanguard heard the machine’s noise. Turning around now meant potentially facing that hopeful face, and Saruhiko would break in an instant to see something like that be crushed. No, eh still didn’t have faith in this at all.

But when they argue and eventually give in to shocking him one more time, he braches himself for the pain, still on his knees as they prepare yet again. This shock hurts more than the last, and he feels things going fuzzy around him. It’s getting harder and harder to stay awake, but now he’s worried about what falling asleep will do. It could mean that he was giving in to death, accepting that this last shock did him in. However, it could also be his body calling back out to him. If he decided to go into sleep, would he wake up still alive in the real world? This was his decision to make.

Did he try to remain awake in this world, or give in to the sleep calling to him?


	3. Yata

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Waiting is a tough game, and one that's wearing down on the young vanguard.

Yata hears the first, soft beep and it rouses him from the numb, emotionless state he's put himself in. He stands up quickly, trying to see over the medical team that crowded around the blue, taking a step forward to push through before two paramedics pull him back down to sit, wrapping the blanket around him again, trying to murmur calm things. 

He doesn’t care about what they’re saying, he doesn’t care that they’re doing everything they can. He needs to hear another beep, another sign that Saruhiko is still in there, that he’ll come back, back to this world…back to him.

He listens with baited breath to every movement and sound. “1…2…3…clear!”

_No. No no no come on Saru. Come on! Fight dammit. FIGHT DAMMIT!_

His thoughts are screaming and he _wants_ to scream but his muscles are too tense and his mouth won’t open, like a statue. 

“1…2…3…clear!”

His mind needs to do something, it needs to focus on something other than his rapid heartbeat and the sound of men pressing against Saruhiko’s chest so hard he’s afraid it’ll snap. He counts slowly to himself, trying to breath evenly with each number.

1…2…3…4…5…6…7…8…9-

Beep.

Yata’s head shoots up and the back of the ambulance seems to grow silent; waiting…listening.

Beep………..beep……..

It’s slow, a little soft and inan instant things are happening, yelling, shouting, medical terms wash over him and it feels like time has stopped moving. Yata wishes time would stop moving.

Beep…beep…beep…beep…

_A heartbeat…there’s a…a heartbeat. He’s alive…he’s alive…thank god he’s alive!_

He doesn’t realize he’s crying until he feels tears slide to his chin before he releases a choked sob, some of the paramedics turning around and suddenly remembering that he was still there. They’re trying to get him to leave, to meet them at the hospital in a few hours so that they can keep the blue stable.

_No! No I can’t, I won’t! I won’t leave him!_

He tries to push his way closer, two seconds from fighting everyone in his way before he hears it.

“Yata.”

He turns and doesn’t know how the man knew, but he lets out another sob just from the feeling of not being alone anymore.

“Kusanagi-san.”

Izumo murmurs something to the paramedics and walks over to wrap an arm around Yata’s shoulders, holding him close as he gets the full details.

“Yata, come on.” The blond starts and Yata immediately freezes up, about to protest before the bartender puts a finger to his lips. “Less arguing and more listening. Right now they need paramedics with Saruhiko so we’re going to go to the hospital and meet them there ok? We’ll go now.”

He’s relieved and thankful, thankful that Izumo understands, that he doesn’t ask questions, that he doesn’t ask why this is so important to him…why Saru…is so important to him.

The hospital seems so much farther now that he’s walking, Izumo keeping a strong hand on his shoulder to keep him calm. His nerves aren’t calm though and when they arrive he still doesn’t get answers, sitting in the waiting room for five hours, unable to sleep or eat, too nervous. What had the paramedic said when his heart started again? _Critical condition._ They needed to safely stabilize him and something could go wrong at any moment. Just that thought alone didn’t let Yata close his eyes for longer than to blink.

Kusanagi’s the one to tell him how Saru is, slowly and carefully explain what a coma is and what this means. Yata listens although his mind is running through a million different outcomes for Saru, most of them not good.

“Hey, Yata are you listening?”

“Yes!” He says and lets Izumo try and soothe him, explain that Saru could wake up any moment, that from scans they’ve done they don’t expect any brain damage. That’s reassuring at least, but he doesn’t want to leave…he wants to see him, no matter how he looks he doesn’t care. That reminds him…he looks down ad sees the red of Saru’s blood staining all of the clothes on his body, bringing with the stench of death and blood and Saru and he doesn’t want it.

“Come on. You can shower and come back tomorrow when they’ll let you see him ok? Come on Yata.” But he doesn’t want to go home and be alone to see Saru’s blood on his hands over and over as he struggles to save hi and can’t because he’s not good enough, not smart enough, wasn’t there when it happened, wasn’t there to stop it.

Yata lets Izumo walk him back to his apartment and it more than a little surprised when Rikio is waiting for them in front of the door with a duffle bag. When he looks at the older blonde he shrugs. “Thought you could use some company is all.” The red head notes Izumo’s calm and hope that his faith in the medical staff proves to be deserving of that calm.

He showers but doesn’t feel completely clean despite how he’s scrubbed the blood from under his nails. He turns fitfully too as Rikio sleeps soundly, his partner’s snoring enough to keep him awake had he not been suffering from anxiety.

The sun finally filters through his window and he stands up, getting changed before leaving a note for the blonde with an extra key to lock up with, leaving and making his way to the hospital much faster now that he’s riding his board again.

He hates paperwork but he breezes through the visitors form, heart beating fast as a nurse leads him down a few hallways, explaining that he needs to be quiet and careful around Saru who’s fragile right now. He agrees to everything, even what he doesn’t hear because he sees Saru through the window to his room and everything else doesn’t matter then.

Yata takes slow steps towards him, taking in his bandaged body, the IV, the various tubes along his arms and face, keeping him in stable condition. He pulls the chair up to the side of the bed and for a long moment he just takes it in, watches him simply breathing for awhile, proving that he’s alive. He finally can’t stop it and his hand reaches it to simply touch Saru’s before carefully holding it in his. It’s cold and Yata warms his hands up to in turn warm the blue.

He doesn’t know how long he sits there but its hours before he looks at the clock next; it’s the evening. He gets about two hours of sleep, finally a little calmer, calm enough to let his exhaustion have him. When he wakes up it’s sunny again and he starts the cycle all over again; checking Saru over to make sure he was ok before simply holding his hand.

Yata’s a little better by day three, going to work even though Izumo insists he doesn’t have to, giving him small tasks that shorten his work days and gives him more time at the hospital. Some days Rikio comes with him or Izumo, sometimes Anna,  a few random blues show up a couple times but Yata ignores them, pretended they weren’t there. They didn’t stay long anyway, Kusanagi keeping them updated if he remembered correctly.

By the end of the week, the other HOMRA members can tell that Yata is reaching his limit each day Saruhiko doesn’t wake up, not sleeping well, only catching a couple hours a night to then work and do it all over again, not eating from his loss of appetite. He’s definitely lost a few pounds.

It’s been a week and Yata’s trying to stay positive.

_As long as he keeps breathing everything will be ok….right?_

That’s what he’ll continue thinking for now anyway, his head resting on the hospital bed as he listens to the beeping of machinery and the sound of slow breathing, his hand carefully holding the other’s like usual.

 

 


	4. Saruhiko

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Saruhiko struggles with the past while he struggles to come back to the one person who had cared about him.

As soon as the ambulance had arrived at the hospital, paramedics worked instantly in rushing him into the Emergency Room to be dealt with immediately. He was put into surgery immediately; the wounds in his side and chest closed and cleaned up. Not soon after he was moved into the Intensive Care Unit to be monitored. He was hooked up to machines and a tube was placed down his throat to regulate his respiratory system. Another machine had cords running to his temples, constantly checking for brain activity. Finally, he was given a blood transfusion to supply a bit of what he’d lost before they hooked him up to an IV to keep him hydrated.

It was another few hours after Izumo and Yata had arrived before a doctor comes out looking for anyone who might claim to be in relations to the Blue, only to have Izumo approach him instead. He begins to explain the situation, how the teen wasn’t entirely stable and on support for the time being. However the surgery had been successful and they’d managed to close everything up, giving him a pint of blood, though if either wanted to donate more it’d probably be for the better.

Then came the part that, even as a doctor who had been practicing for years, he found difficult. While everything had gone okay, they couldn’t be entirely sure of Saruhiko’s recovery rate. They’d done multiple tests, and the Blue had scored mid to low range on most of them.

“So what are his chances of recovery?” the bartender asked in a hushed tone, to keep the vanguard from overhearing.

The white-coat frowned, as if trying to think through the numbers in his head. “Statistics can always be proved wrong.” He starts off, though that doesn’t make it sound nearly as good as it could have been. “The rates from the test say low, but I wouldn’t be too sure. If anything, I’d say he could be responsive anywhere from a few days to a few months. The ventilation and intubation will keep him going for now, and hopefully he’ll be able to manage without it after a few days, maybe a week at most. However,” there’s a pause, and there’s a long moment before he knows how to piece this together correctly. “If he can’t survive on his own after that, you might want to consider calling it.”

“I don’t have the right t’ make that decision.” The bartender interjects with a shake of his head. “’M not in charge of ‘im.” And while it might kill Yata inside as well, this wouldn’t be his decision either. “Talk with the head of Scepter4. The kid works for ‘em.”

The doctor glances over at Yata, having heard about the brave kid who had tried his hardest and managed to do enough to save a life in the process. “I’d bring him back tomorrow. Let him get some rest and get his head straight. I’ll make sure he gets in first thing tomorrow.”

Izumo gives off a slightly awkward smile. “Thanks…will do.” With that finished up, he moves back towards the vanguard, urging him out of the seat and towards home, assuring that they can come back early in the morning to visit.

—

The next few days pass with some improvement. After about two days and a few more tests, Saruhiko was able to come off the ventilation system, breathing and functioning on his own. Still unresponsive, he was left in ICU under constant watch in case anything went wrong. Someone was always in the small wing to keep things under control.

Some of the other Blues had come to visit, though rarely did they ever stay long. The air felt tense with Yata always in the room, so they made their stay short. Even Munakata had come once or twice, though he never entered the room once he saw the vanguard sitting by his Third’s bedside. To him it seemed like his subordinate was in good hands. No need for him to interfere. He’d get his updates from the nurses and doctors that took care of him.

Though after a week, it didn’t seem as if any more progress was being made. With the Blue still unresponsive and showing little advance in any repeated tests, doctors and nurses decided to consider moving him out of ICU and into the normal wings to free up the space. He was stable, just unable to wake up—as if his brain were enjoying the sleep too much and refused to start responding to anything that tried to stir it from its peace.

—

All Fushimi remembered was darkness

He had finally given into the sleep that was calling for him, deciding that he’d take whatever fate was waiting for him. There were so many possibilities that he wasn’t sure which one was going to come true. He could wake up alive with or without memories of his out of body experience and maybe he’d have his memories of what happened to him. Or he’d move on and see what awaited him…heaven…hell? He didn’t really know. All those stories he’d heard in school about what comes after death suddenly seemed wrong—like they had no real meaning other than assuring them that death wasn’t so scary.

The last thing he could remember was hearing the few beeps and thumps of his heart. He wasn’t sure if he had survived or not in the end. He was just trapped in this darkness. There was black in every direction he looked. He didn’t understand what it was, but it was hard to move his body at all. It felt heavy, and it took too much effort to move a limb. So he lay there, floating and staring at the black all around him.

This was quite the boring death, and it was a lot of time alone. This, in the end, was not a good thing, because being alone meant time to think, and time to think meant bringing back old memories. Fushimi had always been trapped in the past, and it seemed even in death he couldn’t escape it. Though the memories that popped into his head were always good ones, and it seemed that, if he closed his eyes, they practically played before him—as if he could relive the happier moments in his life.

Strange how they all seemed to include—

“Misaki…”

The ginger’s gaze had shifted from the thugs surrounding them to the partner behind him, wide eyed, questioning look set in golden eyes. “I don’t wanna hear it, Saru. You can scold me all you want later, but is this really the time to start?”

The bluet clicked his tongue before rolling his eyes. The two were back to back, staring down the oncoming group. “Just take your side, and I’ll take mine. Next time don’t drag me into it.” The men around them started laughing amongst themselves, commenting about how two punks in middle school wouldn’t stand a chance, or how they’d messed with the wrong group.

Oh how wrong they would be.

It took some time, and the two of them came out with a lot of oncoming bruises and cuts, but they’d managed to take down each and every one, working as the perfect team that they were. Fushimi came out with a faulty knee, and Yata came out with a sprained ankle. Each of them wrapped and arm around the other’s shoulders, using each other to keep them upright. “Told you we could take ‘em.” Yata said with a grin, laughing at his victory.

The other teen merely sighed, shaking his head as they limped along. “None of this would have happened if you hadn’t tried picking a fight with them…again. Your violent tendencies will get you in a lot of trouble one day. You could get hurt worse than today…or hell, they could kill you.” All of this made him a little worried, though now was the time for scolding.

“That’ll never happen.” He retorts with another confident grin. “Because I know Saru will always be by my side. Just like today, you’ll be there to help. I’ll do the same for you, too.”

Fushimi goes quiet for a long moment before speaking up again. “I don’t get myself into messes like you do.” He teases, a faint smile tugging at the corners of his lips. “But thanks anyways.” The two break into soft laughter, though the action causes both of them to wince in pain, only to look at each other and chuckle again.

“We’ll always stick with each other, right Saru?”

“Right.”

Always together. That’s how it was supposed to be.

Guess that was two promises he had broken.

He opens his eyes and stares into the darkness again, head lolling to the side as his eyes shut again. It was horrible to have to die and go through this for the rest of eternity. He felt more alone than ever, and the memories that played for him weren’t very comforting. Even if they brought back some things he had forgotten, he’d much rather not have to sit through them time and time again; because he’d see one from his early past, and then something more recent—and the more recent hurt much more.

“Why would you betray us?”

His eyes opened wide in an instant, heart beating faster. Where did that voice come from? No…not this memory.

“Why would you join the Blues? Of all people!”

Make it stop. He didn’t want to go through this. He shouldn’t have to. They never talked, never settled anything. Don’t make him relive his mistakes. It made his eyes sting, and his hands clench into fists so tight he would swear he’d broken skin. Though he’d been unable to feel any physical pain for a long time now. He couldn’t be sure.

“What did HOMRA even mean to you?”

The questions…the accusations…the label he’d so graciously accepted onto his head: Traitor. Suddenly it just seemed as stupid as it actually was; like he’d been so blissfully ignorant to see that there were so many other ways to settle the situation. Sure leaving for Scepter4 was probably inevitable from the start—he’d seen that scenario plenty of times. It was just the way he went going about leaving was all wrong. He’d done it for the attention and to try and get Yata to see him one final time, maybe try to stop him altogether; but all he saw was Red, and Fushimi just wasn’t a part of that anymore.

Now he’d be grateful to have it back.

“Just make it stop.” He cried out in silence, holding back the tightness in his throat. Though what did it matter here? No one could see him; no one would ever hear him. Why should he bother holding back the emotions he’d been feeling for so long? So when he felt the first few tears slide down his cheeks, he didn’t bother wiping them away, didn’t bother trying to stop the flow coming from his eyes. He’d done so much wrong, and there was no way to fix it now. He’d broken all of his promises to Misaki, and there was no way to apologize for them. The same questions repeated in his head, over and over; and all he could hear was Yata’s voice asking, tone strained with the hurt and betrayal that he felt. “Make it stop!”

—

One of the machines that had been still for the week it had been hooked up to the Blue suddenly whirred to life, scratching away at a piece of paper as it detected the sudden brain activity he’d been lacking so far in his slumber. Upon realizing this, one of the nurses quickly finished up the business she’d been handling in order to rush over and check the status before moving to call for a doctor. When she came back over, she took the Blue’s free hand in her own (the other being occupied by Yata) checking his pulse and attempting a few of the reaction tests that she could think up.

His fingers twitched in her hand, and his other hand slowly started to close around the hand that had been holding his all week. A few tears rolled down the side of his face and onto the pillow beneath him. His breathing sped up, a large inhale followed by a large exhale. A doctor rushes in and begins helping, checking conditions before he gives the Red a small smile. “We’ll get him to come to.” He assures. “Just a few minutes. That’s all we need.”

Eyes slowly begin to open, only to clench shut again as the light stings and blinds his vision. The tears that had been held back by shut lids spill over, though the trails soon stop. A familiar voice calls out to him; and he tries his hardest to open his eyes again, only enough for him to make out a blurry figure. His glasses were missing, most like lost long ago, but he can still make out that familiar figure looming over him, the hope and happiness practically radiating off his skin.

 

While the nurse and doctor do what they need to, trying to get his attention, he’s too focused on the Red beside him, and soon those tears start welling up again as everything that had happened suddenly hits him with a force great enough to make the breath catch in his throat. “Mi…saki…?” his voice sounds hoarse, and it burns his throat to even speak, but he has to…has to know why he’s here and… “Am I…still a part…of the world?” The question comes out in a quiet whisper, voice barely present, but he wants to know if this is just a dream. Fingers close tighter around the hand with the weak strength he could muster up. It was as if letting go meant everything would slip from him; like he’d lose everything and be thrust back into his sleep.

Everything comes back, and it overwhelms him—makes him dizzy even though he’s grounded on the hospital bed. His eyes fall shut again, unable to stay open any longer. As much as he doesn’t want to sleep more, he can’t help but feel overly exhausted again, the rest welcoming him. It feels much safer, and there’s no way he can prevent it. The doctor assures that this is normal, and while he’ll probably sleep through the rest of the night, he’ll wake up again soon. He explains that over time, he’ll be able to sustain consciousness longer, and to just give it time. But Saruhiko had broken the coma and had pulled through, and it seemed as if that was all that really mattered.


	5. Yata

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All this time Yata's been running on hope, but as the lack of sleep and eating wear down on him, he wonders where that hope's gone. He needs something or he won't be able to continue like this.

It was getting painful……waiting….day after day, night after night, and it’s getting to the point where Izumo doesn’t know how much longer Yata can go before his body wastes away to nothing but bones.

“Why don’t you take a nap on the couch Yata? You look like hell.”

“No,” is the vanguard’s response everytime the question is asked, wanting nothing more than to return to Saruhiko’s bedside and wait. Always waiting.

His heart drops when he rushes to the hospital and sees that nothing has changed, looking at Saru whose eyes are _still_ closed, tubed keeping his body going. Tubes doing more for the blue than he ever could.  He takes the other’s hand in his like he always does as he sits down, the only thing it seems like he can do.

_Why am I so useless? Why?! Why couldn’t I….why didn’t I…..why? Why?! Why wasn’t I there?!_

He knows deep down that there could have been no way for him to have been there, no reason for it. Not with the way things were anyway. They hated eachother….right? They were supposed to anyway. How could he have possibly known? How could he have been by his side when every time they were within ten feet of one another, they always fought?

He’s tired of fighting, tired of the way things are, tired of crying, and tired of feeling weak from lack of sleep and food. He’d tired. So tired he can’t keep his head up. He doesn’t mean to close his eyes but he can stop himself, head resting on the side of the bed.

When his eyes open again _he’s_ in a bed, confused by the soft covers surrounding him and the cool washcloth on his forehead.

“Huh? Hey what’s-?”

“Don’t you even think about getting out of bed Misaki. I’ll tie you in if you try.”

His head snaps to the side at that voice, Saruhiko in the doorway in that all too familiar blue uniform. “Saru? Saru! Saru I-“ He’s cut off again.

“Stop being so noisy. You passed out stupid. You have a fever so don’t you even think about trying to get up and do anything ok? I’ll take care of it.”

“Saru….Saruhiko I…” He starts crying, unable to stop the tears that flow down his cheeks, wetting the comforter. “Saru….Saru, Saru, Saru.” It’s all he can say.

He can barely see the blue’s eyes widen at the sudden water works through his tears but Saru’s fast to rush over and comfort, hands cupping his face.

“Shhh, shh…hey what’s wrong?! Are you hurt? Are you feeling sick? Dizzy? Hot? Did someone hurt you?”

The barrage of questions is something he doesn’t expect and he simply pulls Saru into a hug so tight that he actually worries about whether he’s hurting the other or not.

“I’m sorry! I’m so sorry! I’m sorry I wasn’t there, sorry I couldn’t help you, sorry you left, sorry, sorry sorry, I’m sorry!” He’s sobbing and he can’t contain himself, feelings spilling out of him as Saruhiko’s hands grip the back of his shirt to keep him just as close. The hands release him and pat softly. “There there, it’ll all be fine.  Just relax a little ok?”

The voice is now Izumo’s and when Yata pulls back it’s the blonde’s face smiling back at him, cigarette dangling from his lips, making him jump.“I keep telling you not to worry so much. The doctors are taking care of him. Why don’t you sleep. Come on, no more worrying.”

“Yeah Yata-chan. Don’t sweat it…it’ll all work out.” The face changes again and his heart twists to see Totsuka by his bedside, wearing that forever sunny smile.

“T-Totsuka-san…Totsu-“

“Don’t sweat…the small stuff….r-right Yata-chan?”

The redhead watches in horror as blood drips down the blonde’s face, down the face that still smiles kindly at him.

“Right Yata-chan? Rig-“

“Ahh!” He jerks away with a start and for a moment he doesn’t know where he is, feeling disoriented. Everything comes rushing back and he looks at Saru, still unconscious on the bed, still breathing gently, still asleep. This time though, when he slips his hand inside the other’s, he feels like Saru is the one comforting him.

The nurse looks at him from where she’s changing the IV fluid and looks a little concerned. “Are you alright? Your scream gave me quite the scare. Do you need me to get you anything?” He shakes his head, knowing that it’s the stress and lack of food and sleep getting to him. He doesn’t get to answer though, the whir of a machine making them both turn with wide eyes, shock on both their faces.

“His brain…it’s awake.” The nurse is smiling as she rushes out to get a doctor, leaving Yata to continue staring in shock.

_His brain is….awake? That means….he’s ok….right? Please….please…._

When the nurse is back she takes Saruhiko’s pulse, taking his free hand of course. The medical staff had learned early on that once Yata positioned himself beside Saru’s bed after he was done with work in the morning, there was no moving him. Taking the other side was simply automatic for them now.

When he feels Saru’s hand slowly, weakly close around his own though, tears spring to his eyes as he quickly looks down at the hand then back at Saru’s face.

“S-Saru? Saru can you hear me?” He reaches forward and wipes the tears away with his free hand. “Saru please.”

"We'll get him to come to." The nurse assures. "Just a few minutes. That's all we need."

He’s already waited a few minutes, hours, days, weeks. He’s tired of waiting, needs something to keep him going before he gives up and lets himself disappear completely. He needs something to reassure him, his optimism long gone after weeks of no change and a 50/50 outlook.

He watches the other’s eyes slowly open and he’s never been happier to see the color blue in his life. His hand moves quickly again to wipe gently at fresh tears, soothing, doing his best not to startle him.

“Shh…Saru don’t cry. It’s ok, it’s ok, you’re ok, I’m here.” Yata’s smiling like an idiot, his own tears streaming down his face.

"Mi…saki…?"

A choked sob leaves Yata’s chest at how relieved he is to hear that name from the blue’s lips and he vows to never complain about it again.

"Am I…still a part…of the world?" 

It’s so good to hear Saru’s voice again that he can barely get out a reply because he’s crying so hard, relief making his emotion uncontrollable.

“S-Stupid…..c-course you are.” He hiccups. “Y-You here with me and I won’t leave you….ok?”

The blue’s eyes fall shut again and stay closed, making him panic.

“Why is he sleeping again?! Why?! What happened?! He was talking five seconds ago and-“

The nurse calmly pushes him back into his chair and the doctor assures that this is normal, and while he'll probably sleep through the rest of the night, he'll wake up again soon. He explains that over time, he'll be able to sustain consciousness longer, and to just give it time.

He’s too tired to ask questions, so he simply nods and calls Izumo, keeping him informed like he had asked. He’s sure that information will be passed on to that damned Munakata but he’s too tired to care about even that.

He’ll wait, he’ll wait just like he has been for the past three weeks. He’ll wait as long as it takes for Saruhiko to come back to him. There’s a fire in his heart again, a fire called hope.

 

 


	6. Saruhiko

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Saruhiko's recovering....one step at a time. But does he want Yata's help?

Another day had passed before he awoke again, things being the same as they were beforehand. Misaki was at his side, and doctors were asking him a question or two every now and again to assess his condition. After a few days exhaustion would take him fewer and farther in-between his spells of consciousness. The only thing that had changed was the area he was in. After waking the first time, doctors had moved him from ICU into a normal room in another wing of the hospital to clear and clean the space for other patients. That was all fine with him. That meant he was getting better.

And he  _felt_ better after a while… He felt fully functional, but any attempt to move or get up took a lot out of him, and Saruhiko found it hard to move any limb with ease. The doctors assured that it was normal for his state, and they explained the situation to him then and there. He'd been told that he had come into the hospital in critical condition and had been in a coma for a week. So the lack of mobility sounded worse than it actually was. He was lucky to have come out of his coma with just that problem alone; a problem that could be fixed with a little effort and physical therapy.

After a while they'd given him the privacy he deserved. Misaki had been escorted out, even if it was against his will. Yata fought back, wanting to stay by his side, but was eventually taken away by Izumo who told him to give it a few days. It was okay with Saruhiko—the blue didn't want to see Homra's vanguard around. He couldn't fathom why the other had even bothered to show up, or why he'd stuck around as long as he had after he'd woken up from the coma. He didn't get it. They hated each other. They weren't supposed to be friendly with each other. Enemies…that's what they were.

"He's the one who found you."

The sudden noise startled him and made him jump. He turned towards the door, narrowing his eyes as Munakata Reisi walked into the room, seating himself in one of the vacant chairs. "What do you want? Why'd they let you in? They told me—"

"You'll have your alone time, Fushimi-kun." Munakata interrupted, arms folding across his chest as he leaned back and crossed his legs. "I just wanted to talk with you for a little while. They let me in only because I'm in charge of you. Like a legal guardian, since you work for me."

Fushimi turned his head to the side. "Like hell you are…Wait—what were you saying? When you first walked in?" he asked quietly.

"Yatagarasu." The king comments back, and Fushimi feels his chest tighten at the sound of the nickname. "He's the one that found you and called the paramedics for help. If it weren't for him, you wouldn't be here right now." He pauses, giving his third in command some time to process. Taking things at a slow pace was necessary. Too much would be strenuous on his subordinate's mind.

"Now I need you to fill in the missing pieces of my puzzle, Fushimi." He continues, "Two weeks ago you were sent out into the field on a regular patrol. Scepter4 lost contact with you, and when you didn't return hours later a search party was organized. Homra's vanguard found you in a deserted alley, practically dead." His voice remained calm throughout everything, even though—deep down—this whole ordeal had him worried. "What happened to you?"

Fushimi blinks, staring at his Captain as the events were described. It doesn't all come back to him clearly, and he's not sure if what his mind comes up with is fact or fiction. Everything seems jumbled and disoriented, and he doesn't want to tell the story if it's not going to come out right. So he pauses for the longest time, trying to piece together anything that he can. "I don't remember…" he answers back quietly. "It all happened like you said: I went out and everything went as normal, but the next thing I know I wake up here and a week has gone by…" His fingers curl into a loose fist—just about the only thing he's able to do with his limbs at this point. "I don't have anything for you…not right now."

Munakata nods, settled in his thoughts for a moment before he stands and makes his way to the door, "Take your time. I wasn't expecting much right away. I must apologize for letting this happen. Spend your time getting better and we'll talk again soon. If there's anything you want to share I can come in at any time."

Fushimi is quiet for a long moment, but then something just doesn't click in his mind. Scepter4 organized the search party for him, right? So why was Misaki the one to find him? "Captain?" he calls out before his superior is gone. "How did he know? Why was  _he_  the one who found me?" he asks, seeming a bit desperate for an answer. It still didn't make sense. Why would Yata care so much? He was the traitor, so why would Yata save a person he was meant to hate? He should have preferred Fushimi dead…

"Awashima-kun was having a drink at Homra's bar when we called her for help." And Fushimi sees a smirk appear on his superior's face—one that he didn't take too kindly. "You cost her the rest of her day off. I don't think she was too pleased with that, but she must have described the situation to Homra and they were willing to help in the search. Yata just happened to stumble upon you first." And with that he's gone, leaving Fushimi to the privacy he'd asked for, but with more questions left unanswered.

He spent the next two weeks in recovery, physical therapy sessions helping him to move again with ease. They started with his arms, telling him it'd be easier if he started there. He spent the hours rebuilding the muscles and continuously moving limbs. Nurses had told him that since he'd only been asleep for a week, the muscles hadn't loosened and deteriorated too much. It'd be easy work to get them moving again. And Saruhiko, who would normally hate working with others in any situation, was cooperative. It didn't take him long to have a working upper-body again.

His legs were a different story.

The process took more time than his arms had. It was more difficult to support your full body weight than to support a few ounces in the objects he had to pick up with his hands. The nurses encouraged him to walk as much as he could, but there was always a crutch and a wheelchair to back him up. He hated it all. It made him look weak, and it was embarrassing to be so dependent. The sooner he got home the better. Eventually he was able to walk slowly on his own without any support. The task wasn't nearly as exhausting as it had been when he first started.

He denied any and all visitors, though Munakata would unjustly use his power to force himself in to visit. That was fine with him as long as they spent the time trying to figure out what had happened to him. His real reason for keeping visitors out was so Misaki couldn't get in. He'd heard the vanguard had tried to visit multiple times, but he wasn't willing to deal with that. It still didn't click right that Misaki, of all people, wanted to see him.

As time passed, his recovery improved with each and every day. It came to a point around two weeks later where the discussion of discharge from the hospital came into conversation. Fushimi would have been thrilled at the idea. He felt trapped, always in the same room without much leisure to roam as he pleased. If he could get out and go home, then he'd surely go without a second thought.

But things didn't go nearly the way he wanted to, and suddenly second thoughts sounded like a better plan. They weren't going to let him stay alone. Fushimi, the most independent human in all of Shizume City, was going to have to stay with someone else to keep monitoring his progress. No, he wasn't going to allow it. He'd leave on his own, go home, and lock his door. No other soul would enter his home.

He'd suddenly become uncooperative on the subject, and when Munakata came to visit him next it was most definitely a topic of conversation.

"I know you don't want to stay holed up in here." The Blue King states almost immediately upon entering the room. He seats himself in the same vacant chair he would occupy anytime he visited, legs crossed and arms folded across his chest as usual. "You just need to stay with someone for a week or two while you finish recovery."

The third only rolls his eyes, gaze focused out the window and away from his superior. "Why does it matter? I've made progress enough, so I've been told."

"And if something happens to you while you're alone? What would happen then? You need someone by your side."

"You have to let me be independent eventually. I can't…I won't go with someone holding my hand." The teen retorts back, tone harsh.

The Captain sighs, finding his subordinates immature manner to be quite troublesome. "I had planned for you to come stay in the dorm for a while with one of the others, but a…different option presented itself."

Fushimi's brows furrow in confusion. A different option? What could that even mean? Taking his silence as a means to continue, the King spoke again. "We've spoken, and he's willing to put you up and help you until you're fully recovered. You won't need to come to Scepter4 for a while, still, so I figured it'd be a good idea for you two to get…reacquainted." And he smiles innocently, knowing that it's clicked in his trusted third's mind.

And clicked it did. His head snaps back towards his Captain, eyes set into a narrow glare. "No. What in the world made you think that  _that_  would be a good idea?" He shook his head. This was going one step too far. "I'm not staying with him." There's no way he'd willingly take Fushimi into his home. "So what'd you bribe Misaki with?"

"Absolutely nothing." Munakata replies back and the grin is wiped from his face. "You don't seem to understand, Fushimi-kun. He found you, he saved your life, and while you were in that coma he never left your side. He's willing to help."

"I don't know why…" he mutters under his breath. "And you're actually okay with this? He and I…we're always about to kill each other. You know that as well as I do."

Munakata merely smiles, confident in the plan that had been set up. "You're in no condition to fight, and I don't think he'll attack while you're weak. I see no problem with it. It's only for a short while. You'll survive."

He looks like he's ready to leave, but Fushimi stops him. "About what happened…" He's quiet for a while, still not remembering it all. There were only small pieces coming back to him little by little. "It was a Strain…one of the ones we'd been looking for recently. I still don't remember much else…" Just like that he was done, feeling exhausted as a headache started to form. Thinking back to that accident was not something he enjoyed doing.

"Thank you, Fushimi." Munakata answered, heading for the exit again. "Don't stress too much." He was gone after that, leaving Fushimi to his thoughts and dreading the moment Misaki walked through the door to see him again.

 

 


	7. Yata

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yata feels hopeless and hurt, finding an unlikely ally in Munakata.

Things were slowly getting better…..well for Saruhiko at least. It was early in the morning and he had just come back from running home to take a shower, one of the only things he ever left the blue’s side to do about every other day. He’d walked in to find Saru sitting up, nurses on either side of him taking results for various tests.

 

“Saru!” His whole face had brightened when he had seen him actually sitting up. “Saru! You’re awake and-”

 

“Excuse me sir but you have to leave.”

 

The nurse had spoken in a polite voice, smiling the entire time. Yata had thought he’d misheard her and his smile faltered a little.

 

“W-What…..?”

 

“Sir it’s time for you to go now. The patient won’t be having any more visitors for awhile.”

 

Again, the woman’s voice had been calm, perfect smile still in place and it had done nothing more than anger him. Why was she smiling like that? Why would she try and kick him out? Didn’t she see him sitting there day after day? Hour after hour? Didn’t she know how afraid and worried he was? Didn’t she know how he felt?

 

“What? No I….I’ve been here every day…I’m…..Saru? Saru say something. Explain to them who I am. Saru….?”

 

He watched the blue sit silently, saying nothing as a couple male nurses came to assist when Yata refused to move.

 

“Saru say something. Saru!”

 

The two men had grabbed Yata’s arms, restraining him even as he thrashed and kicked, starting to drag him out the door.

 

“No! I made a promise! I promised him I’d stay by his side! I promised! Saru!”

 

Their eyes had met for a split second and pain reflected back in his golden ones, confusion and pain, as he was dragged rom the room.

 

That was how he ended up here; on the front steps of the hospital, confused and angry and……and hurt. Saruhiko didn’t….want him there? Even after all of this he…. Yata suddenly feels tired. More than tired, drained, like his body is filled with bricks weighing him down, the days of going on an hour or two of sleep finally starting to bear down on him so much that he feels sluggish as he moves slowly, putting distance between himself and the hospital. Saru….hated him so much that this wouldn’t even get him the chance to speak? Not even a second glance?

 

He’s unsure what to do…where to go from there so he just lets his feet bring him home, a place he hadn’t slept in in days, and it almost feels foreign to him as he sits in his kitchen, picking at food as he tries to move past the uneasy feeling in his stomach. He promised. He promised him he wouldn’t leave his side.

 

Saru’s hatred for him should be reason enough for the vanguard to quit but….he wants answers, he wants to be certain that Saru can walk again, live the way he used to. That day, when he’d begged, cried, screamed, pleaded for Saru to wake up he’d promised not to leave his side. The day that he was hooked up to IVs, laying there still and cold….he’d promised not to leave his side. He never went back on his word and he would try until he saw this to the end.

 

Until then….he refuses to stop trying. The day he sees the blue patrolling the streets again will be the day he’ll turn his back on him again. This time….this time he’ll do it for good. Their games of fighting…..trying to kill each other….shooting insults at each other to try and bring the other down…..Yata is tired of all of it and this, the way Saruhiko had just sat there and let him be dragged away…..no more. When he’s healed Yata won’t pick any more fights, he won’t look back.

 

Too exhausted to eat, he gets up and finally gives himself over to sleep, sleeping twelve hours before he wakes up disoriented. He doesn’t know what day is it, still looking and feeling like crap. It’s sunny out though so he figures he slept through the night. He gets dressed and notices the clock; ten am.

 

The redhead’s out the door and on his way to the hospital, making quick strides with his tired body. He won’t give up yet, not yet, not yet, not yet! Not until he’s sure. When he arrives though he still has no luck getting in and after threats to call security he’s back outside, sitting on the steps leading up to the building. Dammit! What did he do wrong? He looks up when he hears footsteps. What the fuck?!

 

“M-Munakata?! What are you doing here!?”

 

"Shouldn't I be the one asking you that." the Captain retorts, stopping just in front of him. "I'm here to see one of my subordinates, that's all."

 

His teeth grit and just the blue king’s carefree tone pisses him off.

 

“He’s not….he won’t….he’s not taking any visitors.” He finally says.

 

"He's not? How stubborn." Yata watches those violet hues turn towards the entrance. "I'll have to fix that. I must say I'm quite surprised though." Munakata’s gaze returns to him. "You continue to come around here, even though Fushimi-kun is fine." A smirk graces his features. "It's shocking coming from an enemy."

 

“He’s not fine!” He doesn’t even think before the words fly from his mouth and he looks down, embarrassed. “He’s….not fine. He can’t walk yet and he can’t remember what happened.” Yata mumbles.

 

"But he's awake and alive, right?" Munakata gives another casual smile, and Yata can’t tell if it's sincere this time. "That's all that matters, for now. He'll be on his feet soon, and we'll figure out the story soon enough. Which reminds me," The blue king’s expression goes serious yet again. "I've been meaning to ask you if you saw anything that day. When you found him."

 

“Yeah….he is alive. No thanks to you!” Yata snaps, gritting his teeth again. It takes him a moment to calm down and he almost misses the question in the process. His eyebrows raise in surprise. “See anything? No. Just him. I didn’t really look around the area. It wasn’t my concern at that moment. Why?”

 

Eyebrows raise in shock at the verbal attack, but Munakata doesn't seem too phased by the comment at all. "We're trying to track the source of the accident. There's not much we can work with, though, unless Fushimi-kun starts to remember things. Which is why I'm here to see him."

 

That seems to deflate the Yata a little and he sighs. “Well…let me know if there’s anything I can help with…ok? I’m already somehow involved I guess and I’m going to see this until the end!”

 

Another smile appears on his face, and it looks like he's thinking through something. "Will do. I'm sure Awashima-kun will keep HOMRA updated on the current situation. We will let you know if anything comes up."

 

“Ok. Kusanagi-san will let me know if you guys need anything then. Thanks…I guess. I never thought I’d ever be helping Scepter 4.” He glances away again and kicks at a rock.

 

"We appreciate the assistance." Munakata starts walking in but pauses turning to him again. "I doubt they'll allow him to ban visitors for long. Maybe another time."

 

That alone gives him a little hope that he’ll be able to see with his own eyes if Saru gets any better, if he’s feeling ok. He wishes that he could just make himself not care but….he cares. He worries and cares so much he’s still not really eating or sleeping well. He worries that any moment something could change to change Saruhiko’s condition. Seeing him so close to death had awakened something in him, it ha made all their memories together flood through him as he had pushed down on the blue’s chest, willing him to live.

 

He cares….and it scares him a little.

 

It’s a couple days before he wills himself to go back, too anxious to stay in his apartment and according to Kusanagi, “Not fit to go back to work” either. So he finds himself sitting on the steps again when blue once again catches his eye.

 

“You’re back! Is he accepting visitors now?!” The redhead’s eyes are hopeful.

 

"Not quite." Munakata sounds apologetic.

 

“O-Oh…” His face falls a little. “Did he…remember anything at least? Are you here to get more information?”

 

"We're figuring out bits and pieces, though nothing is adding up quite yet. I'm here to check his progress, though. He's nearly ready to be discharged."

 

“Discharged?!” Yata’s eyes widen. “Can he walk again? He’s better? Does that mean he gets to go home?” He tries to keep the eagerness out of his voice and sound as casual as possible.

 

The Captain nods. "He can stand on his own and walk short distances. It's a work in progress but he's recovering quickly. However, I've been informed that he's not ready to necessarily live on his own yet, so he won't be going home any time soon."

 

“What? Then where will he go?”

 

"I'll have to get him back to the dorms. Someone will be able to keep an eye on him. That's another thing I have to discuss with him today."

 

“No!” Yata blurted the word before he could help it and pink rose to his cheeks. “I-I mean….he’d hate that….b-being at work all the time. He…can stay with me. Well if he wanted to….”

 

Munakata looked shocked to hear that proposal. "What makes you think I'd allow that?" he asks, sounding curious. "I know the details behind you two. Why should I trust one of my best in your hands?"

 

“What?!” Yata sputters. “You think I’d hurt him when he’s recovering?” His eyes narrow dangerously. “Are you a king or a moron? I wouldn’t…I…I just want to help him…get to where he was before. I….made him a promise and I plan to stick to it. Besides, are you planning to let a worker off for two weeks? Kusanagi-san is willing to give me the time off to make sure I can take care of him. He’d have a place to stay and meals.”

 

"You're serious about this? I won't be taking things lightly if something were to happen." he warns, though it doesn't look like he's about to reject the idea altogether.

 

The vanguard glared, eyes narrowing again as he took a step towards the blue king. “don’t underestimate me! I can take care of him just fine. I always….” His words fade off for a few long moments and his face falls though he tries to hide it. “I always….used to take care of him.”

 

The King stands his ground, listening to Yata's proposal fully before speaking. "I see. If you're that honest about it, I won't find it as a problem. Though I won't force Fushimi-kun to stay with you if he says no."

 

“I….understand. It’s just another option….I guess…”

 

Dammit! What was he doing!? No! He was supposed to make sure Saru was ok and then leave it at that. A small voice in his head insists that until he can live on his own, he’s not completely better, and it’s enough to justify his offer at the moment.

 

“I’ll stay out here until you come out.”

 

He watches the blue walk in and with a sigh he sits again. He never was a patient person when it came to just sitting around, always about action and getting things done, and that hasn’t changed over the years. But this time…this time there is no action and he’ll be good, waiting until Munakata returns….hopefully with good news.

 

"How sincere were you when you made that offer?"

 

Yata spins around, watching as the blue’s captain calmly strides out, putting a cigarette between his lips, blowing out smoke.

 

“What?” He replies dumbly.

 

"How sincere were you about your offer to take care of Fushimi?" He repeats.

 

“Didn’t I answer that already?! I said I meant it. What else do you want me to say? Did he say no? Yes?” Yata’s waiting for an answer, stopping twisting nervously.

 

"He told me no flat out. I don't believe he means it, though."

 

“H-He….said no?” Shock crosses Yata’s face and he doesn’t do anything for a long moment but stand there and stare at the floor. “Oh. Oh I see then…I guess…that’s it then. No….doesn’t mean anything else.”

 

"I wouldn't necessarily count the idea out just yet." he interrupts.

 

“He….said no….he said no ok?! What else could he have meant!? I can’t….keep going on false hopes anymore!” Suddenly he was screaming, all the emotion and hurt pouring out of him before he could hold any of it back. He was mortified, embarrassed that it had to happen in front of the blue’s king.

 

"He'll come to. Just give it time." Munakata finishes off what's left of his cigarette, putting it out and disposing of it. "Maybe you should visit him next time."

 

“Tch.” He almost sounds like Saruhiko. “No visitors remember? They won’t let me in.”

 

"They can't say no forever. And if they do, tell them I sent you. It should suffice."

 

“Huh? You think that would work? Why would they believe me?” Yata’s skeptical.

 

"This is a hospital, not a prison ward. It's not like security is strict."

 

“Coulda fooled me.” Yata mumbles under his breath but he sighs. “Ok…I’ll give it a shot. Thank you…again….for all of this I guess.” He scratches the back of his head awkwardly, not good with thanking people like Munakata.

 

The king begins walking away. "I'm just doing what's best for my subordinate. I suggest you don't go in today. Try another day. Have a good afternoon." he calls as he disappears down the road.

 

The vanguard could do nothing but watch him and take his advice. He’d give him time to think, hope that Munakata was right about Saru’s no not being final. He knew Saruhiko more than anybody, still believed that even after all this time. And he knew that the blue wouldn’t want anything to do with Scepter 4’s dorms. Maybe Munakata would prove to be right after all. Maybe Saru would hate his job so much that it would be more than his hatred for him.

 

He waits a few days before going to find out, doing what the blue captain suggested and it works. He knocks on the door before gently pushing it open and stepping in, eyes falling on Saruhiko, sitting up in bed, sitting in the same position he had been when Yata had been dragged out a week prior.

 

“Hey there…Saru.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! I'm so so soooo sorry for my absence. I was studying in Paris for a time and my class was a lot of work and it was hard to find a time to post here. But I did not stop writing! Thank you so much for those who waited and are still here. I love you!


	8. Saruhiko

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With Munakata's help Yata's able to confront Saruhiko, but will it make a difference? What will he finally choose?

It was a good thing that Misaki had decided to not visit again right away.

After the last conversation with Munakata, Saruhiko was not the greatest of people to be around. He was fuming for a while, thinking that everyone seemed to be ganging up against him at this point. He was _fine_ , dammit! He had made so much progress over the past few weeks, and he’d only continue to get better. He didn’t need to be with someone else…he didn’t need someone else taking care of him. He wasn’t weak like that!

It pissed him off.

And to make matters worse, the one person Munakata wanted him to stay with was _Misaki_? Really, that was just a train wreck waiting to happen.

After all, Misaki hated him, and Saruhiko in return hated Misaki. They were no longer friends, and therefore should not care about each other. Even so, there was everything Munakata and had said when they had their last conversation:

He found you…

He saved your life…

He never left your side…

_‘I made a promise!’_

That’s what Misaki had shouted as he’d been dragged out of the room. Saruhiko could still hear the words echoing in his ears. What promise? What promise did they possibly have with each other that meant anything at this point? Why did he care so much?

It was confusing, and it made his head hurt.

So he kept pushing it away. He’d told himself that it was all just stupid and impossible. There’s no way he would go and live with Misaki – not again. There was no way Misaki really even wanted to take him in the first place. Impossible.

He couldn’t concentrate, and he most definitely couldn’t try to think it through. His physical therapy became a great distraction to the thoughts of what awaited him when he’d soon be discharged from the hospital; and each day showed more and more improvement. To Saruhiko it still seemed like things were almost back to normal. He didn’t need to depend on anyone else, and he most certainly wouldn’t. Especially if that person he was about to depend on was going to be Misaki.

He walks back from his physical therapy alone. He’s progressed that much that the nurses allow him to do so. The only thing accompanying him is a crutch to support him just in case he needs it. It was the only condition to being allowed more freedom.

As the Blue walked down the hallways, he could feel eyes on him. They were watching with caution, making sure he would make it back to his room without trouble. And, as always, he did—opening his door and shutting it behind him once he was inside. A sigh escaped his lips. He was tired of all of this. He wanted a change of environment.

He set the crutch aside and got back into bed, leaning back and closing his eyes; but all too soon came another interruption, as he heard a knock on the door. “What?” he snapped irritably, wanting nothing more than a little bit of peace after one of his therapy sessions.

The door slid open, and he expected it to be Munakata coming back to try and change his mind; but he wasn’t so lucky. Instead walked in the last person he wanted to see…

“Who the hell let you in here?”

He sees Misaki’s eyes widen in shock a little, looking surprised by the tone. "Your dumb king did. How do you feel?"

Saruhiko looks surprised as well, and a little bit confused. Munakata let him in? Was the bastard hiding somewhere? "Don't change the subject. . . Why would he let you in?" he asks, only realizing after that the two did seem to be working together against him if that offer to stay with Misaki was real.

Yata shrugs. "I asked him to."

“You asked him to…?” Again, none of it made any sense. A sigh passes his lips as he turns his head to look anywhere but in Misaki's direction. Fine, he'll try something else. "Why do you keep coming back?"

From the corner of his eye he can see Misaki hesitantly move toward the chair and pull it awkwardly to his bedside. "I promised." Yata whispers.

"Promised what? Promised who?" he snaps, fists clenching in his lap. "I don't need your help."

Yata flinches, and it doesn’t phase Saruhiko at all. "Promised…..you." His bright eyes slowly look over Saruhiko. "You're in the hospital." He states simply.

The blue rolls his eyes. "No shit." he growls. It was nearly laughable. "You haven't promise me anything. You're wasting your time."

He flinches again, looking hurt this time; but once again, Saruhiko didn’t look like he cared. "I did….when you were….dying. It's my time so why do you fucking care?" He mumbles.

That gets him to shut up, if only for a moment. Saruhiko still hasn't quite come to full terms with the 'almost dying' thing. To him it only felt like he had been asleep for a while—hours maybe. However, in actuality, he’d been asleep for nearly a week and on the brink of death for hours. His hands go limp, fingers uncurling. "I _don't_ care. I just want it to make sense."

"Then ask! Kicking me out of the room after everything I went through got you _what_ , huh?! Answers?!" Yata's voice raises a little and he stops. Saruhiko winces, a look of physical pain crossing his face. Yata takes a deep calming breath as he massages his temples. "Sorry….didn't mean to yell. I'm sure this…is all overwhelming." When the Blue instinctively retreats, shying away from where Yata sat, he continues. “Fuck…no Saru please. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell. Don't…" Yata stares down at his hands. "I didn't mean that."

He couldn't understand why he reacted the way he had just now. It's not like Misaki scared him... He just felt vulnerable. What had happened to him--though he couldn't remember it completely--had traumatized him; and he hated that he couldn't fully control his actions. "Just...don't..." he says lowly, sounding weak.

"I'm sorry….I'll….I'm ok…I didn't mean to yell and I'm sorry. Can we…try this conversation again? Please? I-I'll even walk in again if you want me to."

Another sigh passes, this one sounding much more irritated than the one before. There was no point in starting over. Walking out the door and back in wouldn’t solve anything. It would only look childish. "Look...I've been told that you're the one who found me...you're the one who saved me. I get it, okay? What I don't get is why? Why bother?"

"Why….?" The vanguard lets the sentence trail off, looking away uncomfortably. "Well um…I just…." He swallows audibly. "When I saw you like that….thought you were dying….dead even….all our years together suddenly just…I saw all of it. Every moment in class, on the roof….fighting together…playing games. I couldn't….I couldn't let you go. I just…" His fists clench and he stops, remaining quiet.

Everything seems to stop, and for a while it's like he can see those happier memories again. Saruhiko hadn't been lucky enough to revisit those moments. "Those times are over now. We're different people. We're _enemies_. There's no going back." Which is why he was trying so hard to refuse staying with him. They weren't meant to be together. Not anymore.

"Only because you made it that way." Yata's voice is barely above a whisper, said more to himself than to Saruhiko, but the Blue heard it loud and clear. The remark is returned with a click of his tongue. He turns his head away again, refusing to look at the other even as he continues. "But….I want to help. Munakata-san told me that he…um…already gave you my offer."

"I won’t do it.” he replies flatly.

Yata presses his lips together, fingers twisting together anxiously. "I can cook for you…take time off work….I can help."

"I'm not going to do it." He replies again.

"What? Do you think living with someone stupid like Bangs is better? Saru they won't let you go on your own."

"I'm not going to be living with anyone! Not you, not Akiyama, not anyone." Now it's his turn to raise his voice. "They don't understand that I'm _fine_. I can make it by just fine on my own. I don't need help!"

"Saru you're _not_ fine!" He stands up and moves closer to the bed, eyes pleading. "Saru you didn't see the state you were in when they brought you here. It was…bad."

"It was bad then. I'm better now..."

"They said you're walking with a crutch. I bet you're nowhere near the shape you're normally in."

"That doesn't mean I can't take care of myself!" he snaps again. He wasn't weak. He could handle it. He didn't need someone to hold his hand through everything.

"Ok…then prove it." His tone was slightly challenging. "Then show them you're fine living with someone and they'll let you go. You can tell me what you want forever but I'm not the doctor and they're not letting you live by yourself until they’re sure you’re capable of it. Now you can either live with damned Bangs who probably can't cook for shit or….you can stay with me." His tone softens at the end. "You can let me cook for you, give you your own room, and help you get back on your feet."

He looks up at Misaki with complete shock on his face. The Blue hadn't expected something like that to come out of Yata's mouth that way. The look of shock soon turned into a glare, eyes narrowing as it's directed at the vanguard. "Get out."

Yata grits his teeth. "Fine. But I'll be back. This isn't over and I told you….I made a promise. I don't make promises I don't keep and no matter how much you hate me…you know that's true." He sighed. "Make sure you eat ok? And…drink all your liquids." He doesn't wait for a reply and leaves before Saruhiko can say anything else.

The blue is left alone once again, but the quiet doesn’t seem as welcoming as it had before. With the echoes of yelling and back and forth bantering sounding in his ears, the quiet seems almost foreign to him. He was more surprised that no one had bothered to come in and try and stop them. They were fairly loud, and he expected someone overheard them. So why did no one bother to step in?

And where was Munakata in all of this? If he was the one to let Yata in then surely he’d be around somewhere, right? The nurses wouldn’t just let Yata in knowing Saruhiko didn’t want him here. Munakata would have had to be here personally, but his superior never walked through the door after. He was left alone for the rest of the day, no more interruptions or distractions from the outside. His door remained shut.

It was another week later that he finally saw Munakata again. His date of discharge was approaching sooner than anyone really expected, but there had been no further settlement of where he’d be staying. Luckily for him, Misaki hadn’t come back, but Munakata was the one there to fill the void.

The King had walked in on Saruhiko getting his bandages changed. The wound on his side that had almost taken his life was healing at a very slow pace. However, unless he stressed himself out, there was no more bleeding; but the wound still needed constant care. It was only another reason for him to not live alone.

Munakata sat himself in a chair, waiting until the nurse was finished before excusing herself and leaving. “How are you feeling, Fushimi-kun?” he asked, small hint of a smile on his face. This was how their conversations always started. It was almost routine at this point.

“I’m fine. They said it’s getting better.” It’s the same answer he gives every time, but the Captain always seems happy to hear good news of improvement.

“They’ve told me they can release you at the end of this week, or early next week. You still need to come back for physical therapy, but you don’t have to stay here anymore.” It was great news—something Saruhiko should have been happy about. After all, he so desperately wanted a change of environment. But knowing what was coming next made the good news become pointless. “However, they refuse to release you until they know you have living arrangements made. I will not allow you to live on your own. Your options are to live with one of your fellow clansmen or accept Yatagarasu’s offer and live with him. If you refuse both then our only other option is to transfer you to Scepter4’s infirmary, and they will take care of you there.”

Though Munakata knew that wouldn’t be the favored option. He knew just as well as Saruhiko that transferring from one hospital room to another was not the kind of change in environment that the Blue was looking for. No, he needed to get away from the overbearing white walls, the smell of antiseptic, and the overbearing and overprotective nurses holding him back. “If you really want to know, staying with Yatagarasu is your best option, Fushimi-kun.”

“I didn’t ask. Didn’t want to know.” He replies back irritably.

“He’s been here since day one. He—“

“Don’t give me the same speech again.” He interrupts. He didn’t need to hear it over and over again. About how Yata found him, saved him. He heard it enough, and he believed it—though he still couldn’t see the benefits to saving an enemy.

“Then what is your answer, Fushimi-kun?”

He takes a moment to really think about it. What could happen between the two if he goes, or what would happen if he choose to stay with Scepter4? Of course it seemed like the pitying eyes of his other clansmen would drive him to insanity, but staying with Misaki might do the same. Then he remembered the challenge. If he could live with Yata and proved he didn’t need him, then they would have to let him go. After a long pause, he closes his eyes and sighs, only to look back at his Captain.

“Fine. I’ll do it. I’ll go live with Misaki.” 


	9. Yata

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Saruhiko's agreed to live with Yata but can he and Yata learn to be civil with one another in just a week before they live together?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey lovelies! I'm so sorry this chapter too so long to get out. University kicked my butt. Chapters will hopefully be back to every other week now. Happy Holidays and Happy New Year!

A few days later and Yata gets a simple text. Just one line texted to his pda from Munakata

 

‘He agreed. Go to the hospital.’

 

It takes him a second to process what the text means before he’s grabbing his board, yanking his shoes on, and is out the door, at the hospital in minutes. He hesitates before entering the room, looking at Saruhiko silently and quickly looking him over to gauge his condition, hoping the blue doesn’t notice as he sits down in the chair by the bed.

 

“Good afternoon.” He starts awkwardly.

 

Saru doesn't look at Yata. "Hey..." his voice comes out hoarse.

 

“Hey.” Yata replies, smiling nervously. “How….do you feel?” He can’t believe he’s actually sitting down and having a somewhat civil conversation with him.

 

"I feel like crap, but..." Saru pauses. "I'm doing better..."

 

The vanguard hesitates, afraid to say anything that would get Saruhiko to call the nurses to throw him out again. “Is there….anything I can do?”

 

He sighs. "No... Apparently you're my only option to get out of here though."

 

“You had Bangs as an option…or so I’m told.” Yata doesn’t care enough to remember Akiyama’s name.

 

He rolls his eyes and scoffs. "Like hell. If it were really up to me I'd be going home alone."

 

“Saru….If things have stayed the same over thee years, you can’t cook for shit. You’re healing and you need real food. Not take out.”

 

The Blue huffs. "I'm sure you're not here to talk about my horrid cooking skills."

 

“Well….no. Your king told me to come. You agreed to stay with me right? Why?” It was a question that Yata had been turning over in his head since he’d gotten the text. Though he’d hoped….he would have bet any amount of money that Saruhiko would turn him down no matter what. What had changed?

 

"Why?" there was a long pause. "Well for one I really had no other choice. I didn't have the option to be alone. But you... Well as much as I really can't stand you, I can't stand them more."

 

Yata chuckles. “Was that a compliment?”

 

"Shut up." he snaps.

 

The redhead flinches, looking into his lap. “Right…”

 

Saruhiko sighs again. "Look, I don't get to go home today... You're about a week early."

 

“Wait….what? But then why would Munakata….?” He didn’t understand. Then why was he there if it wasn’t to get Saruhiko? Did the blue king have another plan?

 

"Don't ask me. I don't know what the man thinks half the time."

 

“Well…since I’m here…” He opens the backpack he brought with him and pulls out a bento box. “For you. I promise it’s better than hospital food. No vegetables.” Yata stood up and slowly held it out.

 

He finally turns his head to look at Yata, some sort of confusion clearly shown on his face. He starts to reach for the box and stops, slightly hesitant before actually grabbing it. "Uh-- Thanks. . . "

 

The hesitation….it hurts Yata that Saru can’t stand him that much.

 

“It’s your favorite….if you have the same favorite. Curry right?”

 

He looks surprised, to say the least, opening the box and looking at its contents. "Yeah..."

 

Yata smiled awkwardly and sat back down. “Well….good. I can do one thing right at least…”

 

"Can I ask you something?"

 

“Huh?” That takes Yata a little by surprise because Saru is going out of his way to ask him something, a first since he’d been in the hospital. “Uh….sure. What’s up?”

 

"Why are you helping me?"

 

Yata should have expected the question yet it still threw him off and made him silent for a moment, avoiding that stare that always seemed to stare into him by looking into his lap. “I told you before…remember? I made a promise.”

 

"Right..." he trails off, looking down to the food again. "That's it..."

 

“I…” The vanguard clears his throat. How was he supposed to explain the chaos that went on inside his head whenever he thought about that question himself? “I promised you that I’d make sure you were safe…that it would be ok. I won’t stop until you can live on your own and go back to work. Until you’re okay again. You can say whatever you want about me….call me whatever names you want. I always keep my promises.”

 

Saru goes silent, gripping the bento tightly between his hands and the redhead wonders what he’s thinking. He’d ask him if he thought Saru would talk. But he knows better, and Saru doesn’t trust him, let alone like him enough. Small talk is all the redhead will get and even that is like pulling teeth.

 

 "You're an idiot..." Saru barely mumbles.

 

“What?”

 

Saruhiko shakes his head. "Forget it. You should go... I have - uh...things to do soon..."

 

“Things to do? Like what? Is it rehab? Can I help?”

 

He flinches at the word. "Thanks for the lunch but. . . Just go."

 

Yata frowns but nods slowly. “Can I come back tomorrow? I can bring you lunch again.”

 

He clicks his tongue. "Fine. Do what you want..."

 

“Really!?”Yata smiles and stands up, grabbing his backpack and his skateboard, moving to the door and stopping. He’d expected the answer to be no and is more than surprised that is was a yes. “Hey Saru?”

 

"What?"

 

“Thank you. I know you hate me but….it means a lot to me….thank you.” He gave Saru a tentative smile.

 

He glances at him one last time. "Right..."

 

Yata leaves and though he’s nervous, extremely so at the thought of living under the same roof as Saru for a month to two months…he feels lighter.

 

So he visits throughout the week. Every day to be exact, always with a bento box prepared. Though they small talk for about an hour, and their relationship hasn’t exactly improved at all, it’s better than nothing. He can almost pretend it’s how it was when they first met and Saru wanted nothing to do with the middle school rascal who got into fights. Almost….

 

The seventh day finally comes though, and as Yata walks through the hospital doors it’s different this time. For starters, Munakata is with him. And second, instead of his usually greeting and a ‘I’m here to see Saruhiko,’ the Homra vanguard takes a deep breath and says.

 

“I’m here to sign out Fushimi Saruhiko.”


	10. Saruhiko

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After an uphill battle of recovery, it's not over, but can he lay his sword aside and accept the help of his ex-best friend? Or are the destined to crash and burn all over again?

The King of the Blue Clan doesn’t stick around the sign-in desk for long. He leaves Yata’s side in order to head towards his subordinate’s room. He trusted Yata well enough to fill out the paperwork to have Saruhiko discharged; and if he couldn’t handle that, then how could anyone expect him to handle Saruhiko’s care?

It was like a little test of sorts.

He reaches the teen’s room and knocks lightly before letting himself in. Saruhiko was dressed in his own casual clothing, the hospital garb folded neatly at the end of the bed. He was sitting up, legs dangling over the side of the bed. He had been staring off into space until Munakata had come in and broken his train of thought.

“How are you doing?” The Captain asks, taking his usual seat.

Saruhiko shrugs. There was a mix of emotions dwelling inside of him and he really had no clue how to put his worries and feelings into words. “I’m alright. Is he here with you?” He asks, getting straight to the point.

Munakata hums and turns his head towards the door. “He’s signing you out. Of course, I’ll give my own signature as well. Just figured it was something he could handle.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure.” Saruhiko counters. “The questions might drive him mad.”

“You say that like you know it’ll happen.”

Saruhiko goes quiet and avoids looking at the Captain and the door. It was more than likely true…Misaki had never been too well off when it came to filling out forms. ‘A pointless waste of time’ he could imagine the other saying. But he wouldn’t know. The two had been apart for so long that they had both changed. Misaki was like a complete stranger to him now. “I wouldn’t know.” He answers.

Munakata smiles that smile that Saruhiko always found to be a bit creepy. Like he was up to no good. “I figured you would both get a bit reacquainted over the past week. Am I wrong? Were you not civil towards each other?”

He knew it. “So you were up to something when you sent him here a week early.”

“You speak to me as if I were some sort of criminal.”

 _‘You might as well be…’_ he thinks to himself. “It doesn’t matter. He came for about an hour every day. It was nothing more than awkward small talk.”

The Captain nods and hums again. “Are you still worried about staying with him?”

It’s true that he did feel a bit of anxiety, but he wasn’t sure if it was because of Misaki. “I don’t know.” He answers honestly.

“If you want to back down, then you still can.” Munakata offers. “I can set you up at the dorms and we can care for you there.”

The option to live alone, however, was still not being offered. If it had he’d take it in an instant; but if it wasn’t going to be an option, then he might as well stick with his original decision. “That won’t be necessary. It’ll be fine. I just need another week or two.”

“I’ll be the one to decide that, Fushimi-kun.” Munakata interrupts. “You can live on your own and come back to work again when you prove to me that you’re capable of doing so. However, if you go and later think that these arrangements aren’t working out then I’ll bring you back to Scepter4 immediately.”

“Like I said, that won’t be necessary. But I’m coming back as soon as I can.” He didn’t think living together with Misaki would last long anyways. Saruhiko just couldn’t see it working out.

There’s another knock at the door, and he watches at Misaki makes his entrance. “Finished already?” Munakata asks.

Misaki easily looks annoyed, but Munakata looks amused. “It wasn’t that hard you know. Just annoying. I can do stupid things like that.”

“Great. If all is taken care of then I’ll go sign him off as well. I’ll be back in a moment.” He exits the room, leaving Saruhiko and Misaki completely alone.

An awkward silence fills the air, and Misaki suddenly looks nervous. “So…we’ll go to your place first to pack a bag of your stuff, okay?”

Saruhiko scratches the back of his neck. “Sounds good.” All of the clothes he had here at the hospital were old and could use a good washing once he was back on his feet for good. “You’re...really sure about this?” he asks after another pause.”

“Going to your apartment?” he smiles slightly. “Come on. You embarrassed because it’s not clean?”

“That’s not what I meant.” He snapped, a frown forming on his face. This wasn’t exactly a time to be joking around. “I mean…about living together…and you taking care of me...” his words became mumbled as he kept talking.

Misaki’s smile falters, but he nods. “I promised…I want to do this okay? So…lighten up a little.”

Saruhiko sighs, and it seems as if their conversation ends there. However there’s no chance for another awkward silence to settle between them, as Munakata soon returns. “Everything is settled. There’s a car waiting for us outside. The staff wanted to wheel you out, but I figured you could use the extra walking practice. I spoke with them and they’re willing to let you if you’re capable of handling it; but it shouldn’t be an issue for you, Fushimi-kun.” He extends a hand to help him stand.

For once, Saruhiko is happy for his Captain’s intervention. Everyone knew how wounded his pride was already. Being wheeled out of the hospital would have only wounded him further. Besides, he needed to prove that he was capable of living normally. He had to stop relying on help. So, instead of taking the offered hand, he pushed himself up off the bed and made his way to the door. “Then let’s go.”

He’s slow to start, but there’s no doubt that Saruhiko is moving much easier than before. He makes it out of the hospital without a problem, and has no trouble slipping into the Scepter-owned car waiting for them outside. Munakata assures that all of his things from the hospital will be dropped off at the dorm and taken care of until he’s ready to return to work.

The car makes a stop at his home, just like Misaki had said. “I’ll keep the car here.” Munakata announces. “You and Yatagarasu can go to get your things.” Saruhiko nods, though he doesn’t think he needs to be followed into his own place just to get a bag of clothes. However, he’s in no position to protest. “We’ll be back in a few minutes.” He answers, opening the car door and getting out.

Misaki follows him out, staying by Saruhiko’s side with the same nervous look from before. “It’s…really good to see you walking, Saru…”

Saruhiko doesn’t give a response. This all just feels very weird to him, and every time Misaki talks it’s like a little red flag goes off in his mind. He gets them into his room and grabs a bag to start packing.

All traces of Misaki’s earlier smile were gone, and he says nothing for a long moment. “Um…need help?”

“Just grab some stuff from the bathroom and we can go.” Saruhiko answers quickly.

“Kay…” He gets up without another word and goes, eventually coming back with Saruhiko’s toothbrush and a few other things. He puts them all in the bag before speaking. “That should be everything.”

Saruhiko nods and looks around the room once more. “Yeah…That should be fine. We can go.”

The two start to head back out to the car, but Misaki stops as soon as they’re out the door. “Is he…Munakata…coming all the way to my apartment?”

That was kind of a strange question. Saruhiko would have thought the answer would be obvious at this point. “I mean I’d assume so…He’s just dropping us off. Look, I may be able to walk again, but I can’t make it all the way to your apartment.” Even Saruhiko knew his limits.

“I know…” Misaki answers. “I could have taken you on my own.” He mumbles, and it only partially reaches Saruhiko’s ears. “Never mind.” He drops it and climbs back into the car.

Saruhiko drops the subject as well, making his way back into the car with his stuff. It was pointless to try and discuss it. It’s not long before they arrive at Misaki’s apartment. Munakata doesn’t bother getting out of the car, but offers his assistance if it’s ever needed. Saruhiko’s about to get out before Munakata speaks once again. “About your physical therapy, Fushimi-kun. The staff wanted to have a session once a week. They just want to keep track of your progress. I can arrange for you to be picked up and dropped off, or they could come here.”

The last thing Saruhiko wanted was for anyone else to come here. “I’ll go there. Just let me know when you’re sending random cars here. You’ll make yourself look suspicious.”

“I can take him.” Misaki speaks up after a moment. “I can pay for the cabs and arrange them myself.”

“That’s not—“ Saruhiko starts to speak up, but Munakata interrupts. “Wonderful. Of course Scepter4 will reimburse you for the cab fare.”

“I don’t want any ‘reimbursement’.” Misaki’s tone sounds like he’s trying to mock the Captain. “I have a job and I can pay myself.”

“Misaki…” Saruhiko says sternly, trying to get the other to shut up. He sighs and grabs his bag from the car. “We’ll figure it out later.” He tells Munakata, ending the conversation that way.

Misaki grits his teeth but says nothing else as he gets out of the car, taking Saruhiko’s bag from him to carry it. “I’ll meet you by the door.” He says before going to stand by the apartment complex entrance.

Saruhiko watches him walk off before turning to Munakata and saying goodbye. As soon as the car drives off he turns and meets Misaki by the door like he said to. “What’s with you?”

“You don’t need his help to do things.” Misaki mutters. “I’ll take care of everything, okay?” It all completely takes Saruhiko by surprise, especially when Misaki looks up at him with sharp eyes and opens the door for him.

To be honest, it all starts to piss him off. “Last time I checked, you weren’t the one in charge.” He snaps back. “It’s not your place to make decisions like that.”

“Why not?” He fights right back. “I don’t need his help. I’m taking care of you.” Misaki looked up at Saruhiko with narrowed eyes.

“Yeah? Well I need his help as much as I need yours.”

Misaki opens his mouth but closes it again. “You think…you need my help as much as his?” He sounds surprised and he looks honestly shocked to hear him say that.

Saruhiko, on the other hand, thought it was pretty obvious. “I chose to stay with you, didn’t I? Or are you that much of an idiot that it didn’t occur to you?”

“Oi…” the other pouts, glancing away. “I don’t…know why you picked coming to stay with me…To be honest…”

Saruhiko sighs. “You were the better option. I told you this when you first came to visit last week…I might not be able to stand you sometimes, but I can’t stand the others more.”

From the corner of his eye, Saruhiko can see Misaki’s lips turn up a little. It wasn’t exactly a positive answer, but he nods anyways. “Okay…I’ll take that answer. Come on now, you must be tired and hungry. I saw that hospital shit they called food and you probably could use some real food. Sound good?” He holds the door open for him.

He blinked and looked at Misaki for a moment. This would be his only help for the next week, maybe longer. After all they had been through in their past, it was almost as if things seemed normal again. Or maybe they were starting over. Saruhiko knew this wasn’t the case, and he had no doubt Misaki understood that just as well. Yet that didn’t mean they couldn’t be civil and somewhat friendly to each other while they were together again. All they had to do was pretend. Saruhiko could manage it, if only for a little while. So he nods, and walks inside. “Yeah. That sounds good.”


	11. Yata

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With Saru moved in and settled there's difficulties that he and Yata have to face. But are the issues with their friendship the only problems?

A few days passed and though Saru got settled and they slowly started a routine…..things hadn’t gotten any less awkward. Their conversations were short and uneventful, though at least he always got a reply now, not just grunts and nodding. That was a….good start right?

He comes home after work, stupid delivery jobs that are boring, tiring, and long but at least they pay, and goes into the kitchen, pulling his beanie off. “Saru? You in here? How are you feeling?” It’s the question he asks as soon as he comes home every day as he gets water and takes out Saru’s medications.

"I'm here..." Saru calls, Yata turning to see him slowly walk out from the bedroom and into the kitchen, covering his mouth with his hand as he yawns.

The vanguard gives a small smile as he brings a glass of water to the table, putting the meds out.  “Tired? How are you feeling? Not too much pain today?”

Maybe his questions get a little annoying but….he genuinely cares and he’d never been too good at showing how he felt about something unless he blabbers.

"I'm fine. I just went to lay down for a bit." Saru replies before taking the pills and drinking the water.

“Any headaches, leg pain, nausea, dizziness, leg cramping, tight chest-” He lists off everything he remembered the doctor saying to him.

"Misaki I'm fine." He cuts Yata off and Yata flinches a little at the harsher tone. "I would have already told you if that were the case."

“Right, right….sorry just….trying to help…somehow since I already know you’re miserable.” He mumbles. “Anyway um….hungry? You have to eat something when you take all those meds.”

The nods, and if Yata were to guess, Saru hadn’t eaten much all day. "I'll eat whatever is easiest for you."

The redhead’s face suddenly looks annoyed and he rolls his eyes. “Seriously? After we lived together for how long that’s how you’re going to reply? You know me better than that; I don’t care how much you hate my guts. Now what do you want to eat?”

Saru frowns. "I don't care. As long as you don't put vegetables in it."

“Well what are you in the mood for?” Yata pushes a little. “I can make a lot of different things so….I don’t mind either way.”

"I really don't care..."

            Yata sighs, exasperated, and turns his back to him to look in the fridge. “…..fine.” He says curtly. “I’ll have something in a few minutes.” Damn, damn, damn monkey. He knows Saru has favorites, or has moods where he doesn’t want certain things. He knows better than anyone! Yet….there’s a wall standing between them that he can’t seem to climb. Saru mutters an okay before he turns and goes to watch TV, ending their awkward conversation before it could get any worse.

When he finally finishes dinner he feels a little better and it’s more elaborate than he’d intended, homemade ramen and dumplings, filling the kitchen with a delicious scent. “Saru, food’s done.”

It takes a moment for him to make it back into the kitchen, but he has a curious look on his face when he enters. "It smells good in here."

That fills Yata with pride and he smiles, suddenly looking a little bashful. “Ah really? You think so? It’s just ramen and dumplings. No vegetables in yours like always.”

            Yata isn’t sure why Saru’s praise means so much when he knows from his friends in Homra that he’s a good cook. Maybe because when Saru gives him compliments….he knows he’s truly earned them.

"Good." Yata knew how much he hated vegetables. Saru never could stomach them very well. He watches as Saru gets himself a bowl of ramen and a couple dumplings and sits down to eat, small smile still present on his face as he does the same, sitting across from the blue. “So um…what did you do all day?” Another awkward question he seemed to ask Saruhiko every day though he genuinely wanted to know the answer. Saru fidgets in his seat when he's asked.

"Nothing much. I walked around the apartment a couple times, watched TV and took a nap. Same as yesterday...and the day before that..." He starts to eat to end the conversation and Yata knows that’s how he tries to end conversations he doesn’t want to talk about. But he won’t give in.

“Really? Sounds fun. Watch anything good?” He bites into a dumpling, eyes on Saru.

Saru chews and swallows the food in his mouth first before answering, which leaves an unbearable, awkward silence in the air.

"A couple movies. Nothing special."

Aaaaand with that….Saru had shut down another attempted conversation. Yata sighs and looked back into his bowl.

“Well you’re still recovering so….after dinner you should probably head to bed.”

"I took a nap earlier today. I'm not exactly exhausted again just yet."

“Well lay down in bed then….either way your doctor said that even though you can walk she still wants you laying down a lot…so bed for you.” His eyes narrow and he makes a face to show just how serious he was. “I’ll carry you if I have to and I know in this state you can’t fight me.” His lips turn up a little at the thought of Saru over his shoulder and he chuckles. “That would be pretty funny actually.”

He clicks his tongue, obviously irked by the previous statements and Yata’s slight good mood drops immediately as he finishes up and takes his empty bowl to the sink. "Fine." he mutters before heading to the bedroom.

“Saru….Saru wait it was a….joke…” But the blue is already out of the kitchen and Yata is left sitting alone at the table. Well great…just great.

            Feeling bitter and irritated, he clears up everything and heads to bed himself. Not like he has anything else to do, though he can’t sleep, and he’s lying in bed when he hears it.

            At first the vanguard isn’t sure if it was inside his apartment, but a second scream has him on his feet, moving faster than he may have in his entire life as he sprints to the guest bedroom Saruhiko is sleeping in, flinging the door open. “Saru!”

Saru's sitting up with his knees pulled to his chest, taking deep breaths to try stop his constant shaking. His arms are wrapped around his torso and Yata is stunned, unable to speak let alone move for a good thirty seconds. Something…isn’t right here and Yata is afraid to make a wrong move. He slowly steps into the room, making his way to the bed.

“Saru?....Saruhiko? Are you….alright? Are you in pain?” He starts softly. Saruhiko doesn’t move, doesn’t budge for a long moment before he shakes his head no and Yata doesn’t know if it’s a ‘no he’s not alright’ or ‘no he’s not hurt.’ But he refuses to take any chances so he slowly crawls onto the bed, creeping towards him like he’s coming towards a scared animal because to be honest….that’s what Saru looks like.

“Saru…hey…you’re scaring me. Please? Talk to me? What happened?” He hesitates before warily extended his hand, lightly touching Saru’s arm. He can still see Saru shaking and he feels him tense up when his fingers brush his skin.

"I'm okay..." he finally chokes out and the redhead is just happy to hear some sort of sound that isn’t that terrible scream. "Just a dream..." he continues, but it sounds like it’s more towards himself though.

“A nightmare?” It’s a rhetorical question since Yata already knows the answer and he scoots closer, hesitating again before taking a deep breath, hand rubbing soothing circles on the other’s back. “It’s okay….I’m….I’m here now…if that means anything.”

He thinks his words and touch seem to be doing something because although he's still curled up, Saru leans into him for support. His heart leaps in his chest and it gives him the confidence to slowly wrap his arms around Saru, speaking before he can even think through the words. “I’ll stay….I can….stay here for the night. I’ll protect you.” Though he can’t really protect Saru from the dream that made him react in such a way….he can try. He made a promise after all when he was dying in his arms and Yata thought he’d be gone for good. “Because I promised. I’ll stay here with you alright? Nothing will hurt you.”

He’s not sure if he’ll get rejected and he almost expects to, but Saru nods his head and finally begins to relax in his arms. "Stay here.....Please..?"

Yata tries to keep the surprise off his face, pausing before nodding himself. “Yes. Yes I’ll be right here okay so….come on let’s lay down.” He shifts Saru and helps him get settled under the covers before he awkwardly joins him. God why won’t his heart stop pounding? It’s almost like when they lived together after middle school and the thunder used to freak him out so he’d crawl up to Saru’s bunk and curl up there. This time though….this time he’ll be the one to protect Saru. “Sleep okay? I’m here.”

            It’s a half an hour later when Yata is sure he’s sleeping, breaths finally even and deep and he keeps his arms around him, tightening them a little. “You promised.” He whispers, finally feeling his exhaustion creeping up on him. “You promised you wouldn’t leave without me….so I’ll keep you safe.”


	12. Saruhiko

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Life with Yata Misaki isn't all bad....but it's not quite good yet either.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooo sorry for the late update. School has been crazy for my co-author and I and we literally finished this chapter between Saturday and Sunday of Comic Con. We hope you enjoy it and we're going to try to be faster with updates. To everyone commenting and favoriting and following...wow! It really is amazing to read all the feedback and it makes us so happy to hear that people like to read our fic, even if it's still angsty. Thank you all for all the support!

Saruhiko wakes the next day at early dawn, seeing the light slowly begin to creep through the blinds. His head hurt, and he felt groggy and exhausted still. He rolls from one side to the other, only to come face to face with a sleeping Misaki. It didn’t surprise him—after all he remembers what happened last night…the nightmare…asking Misaki to stay. His sleeping face looks so peaceful, and Saruhiko can’t bring himself to disturb that. Not after all the help he’d received. Misaki deserves the peaceful sleep.  
  
He really was thankful for the other’s help. After waking up so disoriented—and though he wouldn’t admit it, afraid— Misaki’s comfort and support was what he needed. He could only imagine how awful he must have looked the night before. The piercing scream never really registered with him, but he knew it was what called Misaki to the bedroom. It had all felt so real, and even after waking up it was hard to distinguish the reality from the dream, but having Misaki there…well it started to make the bad things go away.  
  
Of course there were holes in his memory of last night’s nightmare, but he remembers enough for it to make him shudder. He remembers getting stabbed, feeling that awful pain in his torso. It makes him nauseous to think about it now, and his arms instinctively hold his stomach. He wants to remember all of it—he really wants to put all the pieces together—but he also doesn’t. It’s all frightening to be completely honest. Saruhiko really was terrified to learn what really happened to him that day.  
  
His eyes start to shut again, just wanting to rid himself of this stress and exhaustion. Pulling the blankets further up to cover himself and Misaki, he rolls onto his other side again and tries to return to his slumber. It wasn’t long before he began to doze off again, but just as he was falling asleep he saw something…or rather someone. It was a figure, although he couldn’t make out the face, but he did see the blade in the figure’s hand…and the blood that dripped off the tip.  
  
In an instant he shot up into a sitting position. His heart was pounding in his chest and there was a sharp pain in his head again. That was definitely…  
  
He is brought from his thoughts when he feels the bed shift and sees Yata stir beside him. “Saru?” Misaki’s hand reaches out sleepily, touching one of Saruhiko’s own on the bed. “Hey, you okay?” His eyes sleepily open, and he looks bleary.

The Blue tries to calm himself, not wanting to worry Misaki further. “Yeah. I’m okay.”

He feels the other’s fingers smooth over his hand, and Misaki smiles sleepily. “That’s good. I was worried.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to worry you. I’m fine…really.” He moves his hand away and pulls his knees to his chest instead.

Misaki yawns big and rubs his eyes, and Saruhiko can see bits of his old middle school self as he sits up, tufts of hair sticking up. “You sure? It sounded like a bad nightmare.”

The last thing Saruhiko wants to do is talk about it. He doesn’t want to explain things when he doesn’t understand them to begin with. It’s easier if he just tries to forget about it for now. “Misaki I’m fine. Stop asking.”

“Okay, okay, sorry…” He mumbles, looking away awkwardly. “Ummm…you hungry? I can make breakfast if you want. Bet it would be better than the shitty hospital food they gave you. What does that shit taste like anyway?”

The comment pulls a snort out of him. It was enough to lift his spirits just slightly, even if he hadn’t exactly enjoyed his stay in the hospital. “It didn’t taste like anything. It was pretty nasty… Like the stuff you’d imagine they give to patients in nursing homes.”

It’s more amusing when he sees the disgusted face Misaki pulls. “That’s gross. Like hell would I ever eat that garbage. How does an omelet sound? Better than hospital good?”

“Anything’s fine.” He responds, once again not wanting to be any more trouble than he already is. He had decided upon coming here that he would leave the decisions up to Misaki. Whatever got him out on his own again the quickest.

He hears Misaki yawn again and watches as he pushes himself out of bed. “Omelet it is then! Do you…still like them the same way?” He hears the hesitation in his voice as he asks.

“Yeah. That hasn’t changed.” He assures.

There’s a short pause before Misaki smiles slightly, and Saruhiko can only catch a glimpse of it before he turns away to hide it. “Right. I’m on it.”

He leaves to go start on breakfast, and that gives Saruhiko the time he needs to get out of bed and stretch his muscles. Movement became much easier over the course of the few days spent here with Misaki. It’s a slow process, but Saruhiko can feel himself gaining that strength back. He moves around the room and changes into regular day clothes before he joins Misaki out in the kitchen. “Munakata is coming by today.” He mumbles silently, seating himself at a chair.

He sees Misaki stiffen, but he doesn’t turn around as he works on the food. “…Why? Have I…done something wrong?”

Saruhiko should have seen a question like that coming. He shakes his head, though Misaki can’t see it. “It’s not like that. I just…need to go out today.” He’s being vague on purpose, and he really hopes that Misaki won’t try to push for further detail. “I’ll be back in the evening.”

There’s another short pause, and right when he thinks Misaki’s about to ask about it he answers with, “Okay.” Saruhiko blinks, somewhat shocked but thankful nonetheless.

Truth was that he had to go back to the hospital for physical therapy. The doctors were requiring it, and Munakata definitely wouldn’t let him out of it. It was forced upon him and he refuses to let Misaki tag along and see him like that. Not in a weakened state like that. It was humiliating.

“…But…” Misaki finally continues after another long pause. “Remember…if you need anything…I’m here to help. I said I’d handle everything and I meant it.”

Saruhiko looks to the floor, unable to look towards the other. Yata did promise, and Saruhiko did say he would lean on the other, but the physical therapy was where he drew the line. He had already done so a few days ago when Munakata had discussed taking him. “I know…I will when I need to.”

He hears a sigh from Misaki, who goes back to looking at the eggs. “You’re still the same.” He hears him mutter.

“Huh?”

“You still don’t take me seriously. Same as when we were in middle school.”

“That’s not true.” He defends. “If it were I wouldn’t be here.” He would be at Scepter4, being looked over by the Captain and his other co-workers. Misaki had been serious this whole time about being the one to take care of Saruhiko. That’s why he let him. That’s why he was here.

“If that’s how you really see things then you still don’t understand why I chose to stay here.” He retorts back, slightly irritated.

“You don’t tell me much so why would I?” Misaki mutters. “Never mind…forget it. Here.” Saruhiko can see the way he pulls a small smile onto his face as he places an omelet in front of him. “Guess I’ll go to work while you’re out.”

He hadn’t meant for the conversation to take a turn like that. A sigh escapes him and he turns to his food, eating so that he can prevent himself from contributing any further to the conversation.

Misaki speaks up again. “I’m gonna go shower and get ready, okay? You can just leave your plate in the sink and I’ll take care of it.”

He nods to acknowledge the comment. Once Misaki is out of the room he allows himself to just sit there in silence. He used to be so good at reading Misaki, and now it was like it was nearly impossible. The other still seemed to wear his heart on his sleeve, but Saruhiko couldn't understand his motive for being so helpful. It had been bugging him ever since he woke from his coma to find the other trying to be by his side.   
  
He finishes his food and rinses off his plate before setting it in the sink. Once that's finished he moves to go sit on the couch, pulling his phone out and calling the Captain to have him come pick him up. The sooner he left and got this taken care of, the better.

Misaki comes out from the shower in fresh clothes, his hair still wet. “Is…Munakata coming soon?”

He nods and pockets his phone. “Should be pretty soon.”

“Oh…um, okay.” Misaki sits on the other end of the couch and looks at Saruhiko. He looks uncomfortable, and Saruhiko thinks he might know why. “Um…can I…ask you something?” He wipes wet hair from his face.

Saruhiko’s somewhat curious at that. “Ask me what?” He responds, but even though he’s curious he’s not sure if he really wants to know where this is going.

Misaki clasps and unclasps his hands a few times before he finally speaks. “Um…I just…” He’s interrupted when the doorbell of his apartment rings, startling them both, though Misaki jumps slightly. “Dammit…Must be Munakata.” He hears him mumble. “I’ll get it.” He grumbles as he gets up to open the door. Saruhiko watches him head towards the door, wondering what that could have possibly been about. He’ll be sure to ask later if he gets the opportunity.   
  
Figuring that it is Munakata, although a bit early, he gets up and finds his shoes, putting them on before he makes his way to the door. He hears Munakata greeting Misaki, and before his Captain can say too much Saruhiko pushes his way out the door. “Let’s go. I’ll be back later, Misaki.”

The two start down the hallway and Saruhiko shoves his hands into his pockets. Munakata notices, and by the way he states his next question, Saruhiko can tell he’s put the pieces together. “Does he not know your plans for today?”

The Third in Command clicks his tongue in response. It’s clear he doesn’t want Misaki there, and he wouldn’t allow him to join. No matter how much Misaki wants to be there and wants to help, Saruhiko has to draw the line somewhere.

They leave the apartment building and take a car back towards the hospital. His physical therapy would last a couple hours—the compromise for him only needing to come once a week—and there was no doubt he’ll be exhausted once it ends. He knows Misaki will be curious and Saruhiko doesn’t want to answer questions. He especially won’t answer if he’s as exhausted as he imagines he will be. He can already tell it’ll be another awkward night between the two, and it makes him sigh again.

The ride to the hospital is spent with awkward talk between Saruhiko and Munakata. His superior asks him how his stay with Misaki is, and the answers he receives are more positive than negative. Misaki does treat him well, and he offers his help for every little thing. It’s annoying sometimes, but Saruhiko knows that Misaki is just worried.

The next topic is the harder one. For the sake of Scepter4’s investigation, Munakata has to ask if Saruhiko’s remembered anything about the culprit. As awful as it is, and as bad as the memories are, it’s his job to give reports when he has information. So he starts to tell him about the dream:

He was in that alleyway—the one Misaki had found him left for dead in. He remembers chasing someone, and he assumes that someone to be the culprit. He doesn’t remember how he got to that area or why he was chasing someone, but his dream just seemed to happen that way. But that’s where the gaps start, so he has to skip to the next part, still unsure of just how much information is missing in that hole.

The next thing he remembers is the stabbing pain in his stomach. It had come as a surprise. After all, Saruhiko would never let himself be attacked so easily. He couldn’t remember the fight, but knowing himself it had to be a struggle. Thinking about it makes him nauseous, and he’s silent for a while to gather himself again before he continues. It’s obviously a Strain—one that isn’t to be taken so lightly if he could nearly take out Saruhiko.

Of course this was all a dream, and none of it could be taken as actual proof of his missing memories, but Munakata thanks him for the information anyways, telling him that it’s a better lead than nothing. They pull up to the hospital, and Munakata tells him that he’ll stay in the car, confirming this new information with Awashima and beginning a new search for the possible Strain. It’s sort of a blessing in disguise, seeing as how Saruhiko prefers to do this thing alone if he has to do it.

He heads in and checks himself in, and after that it’s four long hours of physical therapy. They give him a check-up of sorts just to see how he’s feeling and he’s asked about how he has been recovering over the past week. He answers honestly, because if he doesn’t there’s a chance he’ll be in therapy longer than he wants to be. Saruhiko is still aiming to be able to live on his own again, and he wants to reach that goal as quickly as possible.

Once the check-up is done he’s instructed to do everyday tasks. It seems mundane and pointless to him, but when he realizes just how hard it really is to simply write a few sentences or walk up and down the stairs a few times he realizes that it’s worse than he expected still.

He works hard, and it just feels like a long period of exercise. He wonders why he can’t just go and do this on his own, but he knows that his progress needs to be monitored every now and then. The nurses always encourage him to do these things at home as well, but he feels awkward doing any of this in front of Misaki. It makes him look weak, and he doesn’t like that.

He was right to assume he would be exhausted at the end. The return trip to Misaki’s apartment was much quieter than the first, simply because Saruhiko is tired and is in no mood to talk. Munakata tells him that there are four leads to follow, but they’re small and may not amount to much. He mumbles to acknowledge that he heard, but he’s too tired to really care for now.

They arrive back at Misaki’s apartment building and Saruhiko swears he can make it up on his own, and that Munakata doesn’t need to escort him. He promises to call if he ever remembers any more information and leaves him. He enters the building only to realize he doesn’t have a key to Misaki’s place, and he’s stuck knocking on the door, waiting to be let in.

But the person who answers isn’t who he was expecting. Anna stands in the doorway, a red cloak pulled around her, and her eyes stare up at Saruhiko. It’s that gaze that always made him feel slightly uncomfortable. “Welcome back.”

He blinks in shock, regarding the small girl in front of him. “What are you doing here?”

“Welcome back Saru.” He hears Misaki call from inside the house.

“Yata-san is cooking dinner.” Anna adds before turning and walking back towards the kitchen, not answering his question. He grumbles and follows her in, taking off his shoes before heading into the kitchen. He takes a seat at the table and still isn’t willing to talk.

Misaki turns to him with a slight smile. “Hey, how was your outing?” He can tell Misaki’s studying him, and he knows the question is coming when his smile drops a little. “Hey…are you okay? You look tired.”

“It was fine.” He responds. “I’m…Yeah, I’m just tired. That’s all.”

Anna sits in the seat next to him and looks up at him with knowing eyes. It’s that gaze that says she knows exactly what’s going on, and Saruhiko hates it. “Saru—” Yata starts, but Anna quickly interrupts him.

“How are you feeling?” She asks.

Saruhiko watches her for a moment, and he hates that she practically looks through him. He narrows his eyes slightly, hoping she doesn’t say a word. “I’m fine.” He repeats.

“You don’t look fine.” Misaki growls at him. “He didn’t make you do anything while you’re still recovering, did he?”

He sighs and shakes his head. “No. It’s nothing like that. I told you I’m just tired.”

Misaki looks at him with disbelief and Anna glances between the both of them. “How is Munakata-san?” She finally pipes up and he hears Misaki sigh as he turns back to the stove.

“He’s fine. Same as ever.”

Anna nods thoughtfully. “I should probably see him soon.”

He’s silent for a moment, his face softening. That’s right, she was the new Red King—or Queen, maybe… “There’s no rush. Scepter4 kind of has their hands busy right now anyways…”

“Yes. Same with Homra. Right Yata-san?” Misaki stiffens at the stove and nods, not saying anything. Saruhiko finds it odd and rather suspicious and Anna continues. “Yata-san is running the search for the person who attacked you. He’s making everyone work hard.”

He blinks in shock, and Misaki speaks before he gets the chance to say something. “A—Anna! That stuff…doesn’t matter. Come on…” he mumbles. “Can you grab the stack of plates on the counter? I’m bringing the food over now.”

He’s obviously trying to change the subject and Saruhiko isn’t about to allow that. “You’re doing what?” He asks, and though he’s surprised, he’s not exactly happy about it. “Misaki that’s… It’s too dangerous.”

“Just forget about it Saru. It’s nothing.” He starts putting food on plates and passes them out.

Misaki may be able to act all nonchalant about this, but Saruhiko can’t. “It’s not nothing! Don’t play it off like it is. Why are you doing this? Just leave it to Scepter4.”

“Drop it, okay!? If you’re not going to be open with me then why should I?!” He finally looks at Saruhiko and there’s a look of hurt in his eyes.

Saruhiko stares back at him with utter disbelief. These are two completely different subjects they’re dealing with. Misaki has no right to look at him like that. “I’m not hungry.” He finally answers, pushing himself away from the table. “I’m going to bed.” He gets up and is quickly out of the kitchen.

He hears Misaki snap after him. “Fine!”

He makes his way to the bedroom and shuts the door before allowing himself to fall onto the sheets. It feels nice to lay down and relax his muscles after the long day of exercise. He really is tired, and coming to bed was probably the better idea anyways.

A long sigh escapes his lips and he allows himself to slowly fall asleep. Or he would have, had there not been a knock at the door a moment later. “Go away.” He grumbles, assuming it to be Misaki.

“Fushimi?” He hears the soft voice, and can’t believe he nearly forgot Anna was visiting. “Can I come in?”

He really contemplates saying no, just wanting to get some sleep after the long day, but he doesn’t. He gets up and opens the door for her, letting her in. “What do you want?”

“To talk.” She replies simply. “It’s why I came over.” Anna hops up and sits on the edge of the bed.

Saruhiko joins her, sitting on the edge beside her, and he gives her a confused look. “Misaki is out there. You came to talk to him, didn’t you?”

She shakes her head, which still leaves him quite confused. “Besides, Yata-san doesn’t talk much when he’s upset.”

“So why me? Why do you want to talk to me?”

She turns towards him and cocks her head to the side. “Do you dislike me?”

The question comes out of nowhere and he’s too shocked to respond for a moment. “I didn’t say that.” He frowns, feeling like he’s being set up. “What’s this about?”

“Why are you lying to Yata-san?” The question is so blunt he almost winces.

“Lying? About what?”

“You won’t tell him where you went.”

“I didn’t lie.” He clarifies. “He just doesn’t need to know.” And neither did Anna. He would prefer if she chose to not get involved like this.

“Kusanagi-san said Yata-san was going to take you.” He has no idea how Kusanagi heard about these plans, but they weren’t exactly right.

“I told Misaki he didn’t need to do that. It’s not his responsibility.” Misaki is trying too hard. He wants to do everything for Saruhiko, when he doesn’t need to. Saruhiko is learning to manage on his own, and it’s Scepter4’s responsibility to help him out—not Misaki’s.

“He thinks it is.” She says before getting up and walking to the door again. “Feel better Fushimi.”

Before she can leave he calls out to her. “If you know then why haven’t you told him?” She should understand just as well as he does that Misaki’s desperate to know, simply out of concern. And with the way Saruhiko had returned today, it wasn’t all too big a surprise.

“It’s none of my business.” She turns to him again with her bright eyes. “Right?”

“Right…” he responds, looking down at the floor. He hates looking at those eyes that can read his mind. It’s like he can’t hide a damn thing from her.

“Goodnight.” She opens the door and leaves him to his own. Once she’s gone he allows himself to lay down again. His body instantly relaxes onto the bed again, and he has no time to spare to think about the events that just occurred before he drifts off to sleep.

 


	13. Yata

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After their last fight, both Yata and Saruhiko are tense. But after some fun and a game that brings back memories for Yata, maybe they can clear the air a little and take a step in the right direction.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! We are so so sooo sorry that this chapter has taken us so long. Life and school just kind of took over. As always, thank you so much for all the feed back and comments and messages. I read every message and they make us smile so much!

Yata doesn't sleep well. Not after the fight they had anyway. He's restless and his fight with Saru in the kitchen last night is still rolling in his mind. He meant what he said. If Saru wasn't going to be open with him then why did he need to give away all of his own secrets?

But…he had also meant it when he'd told Saru he'd take care of him and give him a good place to recover for a month or two. Fighting wasn't really accomplishing that.

Yata groans, pushing out of his bed and moving to the fridge before he makes his way to the room Saru's staying in. He's still angry but…he made a promise, and to Yata Misaki, his promise is everything.

He knocks on Saruhiko's door softly. "Saru? You up?"

There's a long pause before he hears Saru stir.

"Yeah. What's up?" He hears through the wood and the vanguard takes a deep breath before he opens the door a crack. He slips his hand in, exposing a Coca Cola bottle, the fancy, glass kind they used to drink in middle school.

"Truce?"

There's another long pause and Yata counts the seconds. One...Two...

"Alright... Come in."

He cheers internally and opens the door, stepping into his room. "I owed you one anyway right? Or you always told me I owed you one. For the soda I 'supposedly stole.'" He makes air quotes with his fingers, smiling a little as he hands Saru the bottle, sitting cross-legged on the bed.

"You did steal it. You took it from me and drank it all. That's stealing." Saru takes the bottle and pops the top open, taking a long drink. He pauses for a moment after before handing the bottle back to Yata. "Here."

"I did not. I only borrowed it….and just….never gave it back." He chuckles, his smile changing to a look of surprise when the other offers the drink to him. He looks skeptical. "If I take this…you won't say I stole this will you?" Yata's tone is teasing, covering up how much the gesture really means to him.

Saruhiko sighs. "No. I'm sharing it with you. It's different." He offers it again. "Truce."

He takes a sip, holding the bottle in his hands and looking down into his lap. "So um…did you sleep okay? Didn't sound like you had any nightmares last night." He was careful asking questions, trying not to cross one of Saru's invisible lines.

The blue looks away as if in thought and leans back a bit to rest against the headboard. "I slept fine. I think I was too tired last night to really dream of anything."

"Are you going out again?" Out to whatever secret place he couldn't know about apparently. "Or are you staying in?"

"I don't have any plans. Why?"

"Well….." Yata starts "The doctor said you should walk around a little bit every day, and I'm sure staying cooped inside can't be fun so…want to go out for a bit? I promise it'll be fun. Pinky promise!" Yata grins eagerly, holding out his pinky.

Saruhiko doesn't exactly look like he wants to, but he eventually locks pinkies with Yata's. "Sure. It probably is better than staying here doing nothing."

"Great! But…breakfast first because you need food, you have meds to take, and…you didn't eat dinner. I'll make pancakes. Meet you in the kitchen okay?" He gives him a slow almost shy smile and puts the Cola bottle in his hand before he leaves the room.

He feels almost…excited as he pulls out everything he needs for breakfast, moving around the kitchen. Maybe…Maybe after this, after Saru is better, they'll go their own ways. But for now why couldn't they have some fun right?

Saruhiko enters into the kitchen a little while later, cleaned up and dressed in casual clothes for the day. The Cola bottle is almost empty as he sits at the table and takes another sip.

Yata glances at him and smiles. "You know it's hard to find bottles like that anymore. Everything comes in a can."

"Yeah?" He pauses for a moment. "...How long did it take you to find this, then?"

"Oh um…" The redhead flushes a little and looked back at what he's doing. Crap. He didn't want Saru to think he went out of his way or anything…"I was lucky. Didn't take long."

"I see..." Saru falls silent again.

Yata finishes the pancakes in semi-awkward silence, eating with the other in the same atmosphere before he clears up. "Alright let's go. If you feel tired at all you tell me and I'll get a cab for us okay? Honest. Just let me know. Promise?"

"I'll be fine. Don't worry about me." Saru replies quickly but he isn't letting it go.

"Promise." He repeats.

He watches Saru sigh. "Promise." He says and the vanguard automatically feels better.

"Good now time for some fun!" He exclaims as he leads the other down a series of streets before stopping suddenly. "You have to close your eyes."

Saru's face contorts into a look of confusion. "Huh? Why?"

"Come on Saru please? Don't make me find something to blindfold you with. Humor me." He'd been thinking about this all night and he wasn't going to have the dumb monkey ruin it.

Saru looks like he's still hesitating, but eventually he sighs again and gives in, eyes shutting. "Fine."

"Yes!" Yata pumps a fist in the air and takes Saru's hand. "Don't forget, eyes closed." Saru's hand in his feels a little strange but…nice. It feels cool and smooth and he needs to remind himself that they'd held hands when they were kids dozens of times when Yata would drag the other places. It shouldn't make his stomach feel strange now.

He leads him to the front of a building that says 'Shizume Arcade' in big letters. It was part of their childhood…middle school when everything seemed like it would be smooth sailing and it was them two against the world.

_"Saru! I saved a ton of quarters! I'll totally kick your ass today!"_

_"If you say so. You can keep trying to fool yourself if it makes you feel better."_

_Yata pouted, hands resting on his hips. "I mean it! And when I win you have to eat all the vegetables in your bento tomorrow."_

_Saru looked unimpressed, a look that always succeeded in riling him up. "So you mean when_ I _win, you have to drink your milk carton tomorrow."_

_The redhead's face paled for a moment and for a second, though he'd never admit it, he was actually worried. "Y-You wish! You'll still be drinking it! You're on!"_

_Despite his angry expression he was happy. Happy like he always was when he and Saruhiko were doing something fun together._

"Okay! Open your eyes!"

Saruhiko opens his eyes and the blank expression he had before turns to one of slight confusion. "The Arcade? That's what I had to close my eyes for?"

The vanguard's face falls and for a moment he just feels hurt, unsure how to really reply. "You don't like it?"

He shakes his head. "That's not it. It just...wasn't what I was expecting."

This wasn't the reaction Yata had wanted from him at all and he feels all his efforts crumble away. "….Nevermind. Do you want to go in? We can just go home if you want."

"Make your bet," he answers simply.

"Huh?" The words throw the redhead off and he's not even sure he heard correctly. "What?"

"You know the rules." Saru replies like it should have been obvious. "We have to make a bet before we go in."

"Oh…right!" A smile lights up his face. "Name your terms."

"Alright. If I win you're going to stop getting involved and call off your search party for the Strain."

"No." Yata's answer is immediate and he doesn't hesitate, suddenly looking every bit the third in command that Homra sees daily. Their commander. "I refuse. Pick something else."

"What? You can't make me pick something else. Those are my terms."

"I…I can't agree Saru. I made a promise and despite what you think of me…I refuse to break my promises. As much as I hate to admit it, you won most of our bets when we were kids. It's not a risk I can take this time. You need to pick something else. Please…Please understand."

"Promise to who? That has nothing to do with you or anyone in HOMRA for that matter."

"Doesn't have to do with me? You think this doesn't have to do with me?!"

"No. I can't understand why you're trying so hard either. There's no reason for it."

Anger wells up inside Yata. "You think I'm just going to stand around when some asshole almost killed my best fri-" He freezes, mouth snapping shut.

Saru blinks, staring at him for a long moment in shock. After a moment that feels more like hours than seconds, Saru turns away. "Then if I win you have to explain everything to me. All of your motives."

Yata deflates a little, feeling relief course through him. "I…I can do that. And if I win…you have to let me take you out to dinner…" He mumbles, looking away.

The vanguard sees Saru's head snap back towards him out of the corner of his eye.

"What? That's...not something I expected coming from you," the other says.

"Well…you've been through a lot lately yeah? I figured we could get ramen or something good that the hospital probably kept you from eating. Let me treat you…if I win." He hesitantly glances back at him, holding out his hand. "Deal?" He tries to defend his actions internally, convincing himself that that was the reason. He doesn't want to admit to hoping to piece back the relationship the two of them had before Saru left Homra.

Saru looks down at the hand and reaches out to shake it. "Fine. Deal."

"Okay!" The redhead fishes a bag of quarters out of his pocket and leads the other inside. They both knew the rules though they may have seemed complicated to others. Best two out of three rounds on two out of three gaming machines. It used to be three out of five on days they just played for fun and could afford it. But they had a bet at stake and they were both pretty competitive people. "You can pick the first game Saru."

He watches Saru look around, pausing before settling on a game that he vaguely remembered playing with the blue…before there were ever colors involved. "Same rules apply then?"

He nods. "Of course. Don't chicken out now! Ready! go!" Saruhiko must have been rusty because Yata takes the round easily, cheering when the 'you win' flashes on the screen. "Woo hoo! Take that!"

Saru looks shocked and dumbfounded and Yata thinks it's a nice look on him. It doesn't happen very often. "Okay so it's been a while. Sue me. Pick the next game." Saru says and if Yata felt like teasing he'd point out that the other sounded just a liiiittle bit bitter.

He picks the next game, one he knows…but one he knows Saru also knows. It's a gamble but he's still running on that adrenaline high from winning the first game.

"Just because you won the first round doesn't mean you can act all cocky and think you'll win again. I won't let you."

He sounds competitive and Yata looks forward to it…that is…until Saruhiko crushes him, leaving him gaping at the screen.

"Told you not to get too confident. Now we're tied."

"Dammit! Pick the next machine already. You must have cheated!" Now who was the bitter one? He doesn't know how Saru made such a big comeback.

"Right. I cheated. Sure." Saru rolls his eyes and shakes his head, winning a chuckle from the shorter male. "Come on." He finds and picks the final game.

Yata knows that this is his last chance at winning and the battle is serious, both of them focused and with one win before at the last second, like it had been in their past, Saruhiko wins.

He slowly turns to find Saru staring at the screen as if to confirm that, yes he has in fact won. And, yes, that means he's won two out of the three games. Once it's confirmed he turns to Yata. "This is what happens when you boast too soon."

"Shut up! It was all luck!" The vanguard grumbles even though he knows he lost fair and square. "You win so um…guess you win the bet then…" He suddenly feels almost nervous.

"You said it yourself earlier. I win a majority of them." Saruhiko shoves his hands into his pockets and starts walking towards the exit. "Come on. Let's go somewhere quieter."

The redhead sighs softly to himself but has no choice really but to follow him out of the arcade, studying him out of the corner of his eye as they walk.

Saru looks straight ahead as he walks, face blank like usual and Yata almost wants to laugh at how nostalgic it feels. Saruhiko leads them to the park, finding an empty bench to seat himself at.

"Are you okay? Not too tired? Do you need anything?" He asks, rubbing the back of his neck a little awkwardly. It's been years since he's fussed over Fushimi Saruhiko.

"I'm fine." He cuts the conversation short before Yata can bother to start fussing over him again. "Stop worrying so much." Saru reaches out and pokes a finger at Yata's forehead. "Your face might freeze and look like that forever."

"Oi! Oi!" The redhead swats his hand away but not after being thrown off and pausing for a moment, a light shade of pink heating his cheeks. "Worry about yourself. You're the one who almost died…shitty monkey…" He mumbles, plopping onto the section of the bench beside the Blue, crossing his arms over his chest. "Guess I'm stuck answering a bunch of questions huh?"

Saru drops his hand and turns his head to the side. An awkward silence settles over them for a couple moments before Saru nods slightly. "Those were my conditions for winning."

"Okay then…let's get this over with…" Yata feels a nervous ball in his stomach and he shouldn't be embarrassed but he is. His reasons for helping…his reasons for crying and making his promises…they were strangely personal. If he shared them would Saruhiko laugh? Or be disgusted? It was hard to tell.

Saruhiko kicks his shoe against the ground, not saying anything for awhile and it only makes the redhead's nerves increase. "I just...I don't get it. You said you made a promise but what exactly did you promise to do?"

Okay…all he had to do…was answer exactly what the question asked. Nothing more and he'd be fine as long as he didn't ramble. "I…promised to find the person who attacked you." And kill them. But Saru knew him well enough to probably assume.

Saru still refuses to look at him, eyes trained on the ground, but that doesn't bother him. He's not looking at this point either. "Promised to who though?"

Dammit. This is the question Yata was dreading. He really didn't want to talk about it, or talk about that day for that matter but he'd lost their bet and it seemed he had no choice. "I…promised you."

The blue's head finally snaps up. "What? When did you... No... Why would you? That makes no sense."

"They told authorities that Kusanagi-san was the one to find you first…they lied. Apparently they thought I wouldn't be able to handle the questioning. I…found you first. I…you were dead. I know you were. You had no pulse but I tried to revive you anyway. I promised you. I promised you that I'd find the fucker who hurt you. You were…my best friend after all." Yata doesn't look up, eyes still trained on his feet as he speaks, embarrassed that he was even admitting any of this outloud.

Saruhiko's eyes go wide and it looks like he's nearing a panic attack but he forces himself to try and calm down first. "Why? There was no reason for you to help. It wasn't like you owed me anything or had any obligation to help! I...I don't get it..."

"You're acting so surprised but Kusanagi-san told me Munakata told you the truth? Did you not believe him? Didn't think I could have saved your life?" The vanguard laughs humorlessly. "They say I saved your life but…I don't think I did. That fucker still got you and I…dammit…" His fists clench at his sides and he feels a familiar burning sensation that he forces down. "I didn't feel  _obligated_ asshole. I…we…you were dying okay!? You were dead! I just…everything we ever did together came back to me and I just…I couldn't let things end like that!" He's out of his seat before he realizes it, practically yelling as he turns to Saruhiko with a pained expression. "I couldn't…after everything we'd been through you were just…you were just going to slip away…I panicked!" Fuck. This was not how he wanted this to go and he tries to calm himself, taking careful breaths.

Saruhiko looks shocked beyond comparison, staring at Yata as if the words he said were the most relieving yet stupidest things he's ever heard in his life. His expression is confusing to the redhead and a silence settles over them. "I didn't realize you...you still think like that." He finally says, head dropping into his hands and Yata gawks slightly.

He deflates almost like a balloon after Saru's words. They…aren't what he had expected honestly and he sinks to the ground, crossing his legs as he runs a hand over his face, releasing a breath he didn't realize he had been holding. "I…wish I knew what you were thinking about. You're so damn hard to read sometimes." He mutters, looking away.

"You can't expect me to think about anything after dropping a bomb like that..." Saru mumbles almost incoherently.

It's strange to see Saruhiko in such a state. "Right, right…" Yata replies softly, falling back so he lies on the ground, staring up at the sky. "...sorry I….it's….been a long month. I didn't mean to explode at you."

"You're telling me..." Saru sighs, dropping the subject there. After a short silence he gets up and Yata watches him shove his hands in his pockets again out of the corner of his eye. "Come on."

"Huh?" Yata looks up, confused. "Are you cold? Sorry. I forget you're not always warm like I am. We can head home."

He shakes his head. "It's not that. I'm hungry. Let's go eat."

Yata blinks, the words not registering for a long moment. "At home? Or...?"

"Nah. Let's go out to eat."

"What?" Yata still sounds a little confused and he wishes for probably the fifth time that night that he could read Saruhiko's mind. "But I lost. I lost the bet so you don't have to."

"Just because you lost the bet doesn't mean we can't go out to eat. But I'm paying."

"Wait what? No way! I can pay for myself! ...and you!"

The Blue shakes his head. "Just let me do it..."

"Why?" Yata retorts, getting off the ground and brushing himself off.

"I have my reasons." He answers vaguely.

"Really? That's the only answer I get after everything I just spilled to you?" The redhead crosses his arms.

"Yeah, it is. Now come on." he turns and starts walking.

Yata grumbles but follows behind him, his stomach growling as if on cue. "Oh…guess I am pretty hungry." He grins sheepishly, laughing.

"What do you want to eat?" he asks, glancing behind him at the other.

The vanguard folds his arms behind his head. "Nope. You wanted to eat out and you're paying. You pick the place." He flashes another grin.

"Suit yourself."

Yata thinks he's won but when they round the corner to a ramen stand, he knows Saruhiko just took him to a place he knew he loved from their days living together. "No fair! You cheated!"

"I didn't cheat." He replies, sounding defensive. "You told me to pick the place and I did. For all you know I wanted ramen anyways."

Saru's lie would have worked if Yata didn't know him better. But the redhead had lived with him long enough to know. "Liar. You never want to go for ramen unless I really ask for it. You say you hate picking out all the 'green stuff'." He says with air quotes, chuckling. "I know you better than that…despite all the time that's passed." He mumbles.

"You told me to pick the place and I did. I don't see what's wrong with it." He shrugs his shoulders and heads inside anyways. "Besides...people change."

"Right." Yata murmurs, suddenly remembering the situation they were in. Really remembering. They weren't friends anymore. People changed, and so had they apparently. "You can eat all your vegetables then." He replies for lack of a better rebuttal.

Saru tries to play it off casually but there's an obvious pause as the comment seems to catch him off guard.

The surprised look on Saru's face and the way he pauses makes Yata chuckle, the atmosphere lightening. "Dork." The redhead nudges Saruhiko and moves past him to sit at the table.

Saru sits across from him and almost looks embarrassed, silent, looking over the menu before ordering a bowl without vegetables for himself.

"What is it?" Yata asks after they'd both ordered. "Did I um say something wrong?" He pulls his beanie off and runs his fingers through his messy hair.

He shakes his head and hums in response. "No. Nothing like that."

"Then…what? You're quiet, which I guess is like you but…still. What is it?"

"It's nothing, really. I'm fine, Misaki."

The vanguard rests his head on his palm. "If you say so." He hadn't expected Saru to tell him, was only hoping that the Blue would surprise him. He sighs. "Well, anyway, how are you feeling? You walked quite a bit today. Sore? Tired?"

He seems to ponder this for a minute. "I'm not really sure. I felt fine earlier but...Sitting like this after being up for so long feels nice."

Yata had expected Saruhiko to snap that he was fine, but the honesty made him pause and smile slightly. "Yeah I bet sitting after being on your feet for a couple hours feels nice. Food will probably make you feel even better."

He hums in response. "Mm. I guess so. We haven't really eaten much today besides breakfast."

"That's true. I didn't realize how hungry I was until I walked in here and smelled all the ramen. I haven't had ramen in awhile actually."

"It's good every once in a while. Eating it too often wouldn't be any good for you."

"Yeah, yeah." Yata replies with a wave of his hand. "Ramen is good always." He grins, chuckling.

When their food arrives Saru busies himself with eating, always the silent type. But it's good and he manages to eat most of his bowl before he's finished.

The redhead watches happily as the he eats and polishes off his own bowl, letting out a content sigh. "That was so good."

Saruhiko nods. "Yeah... It was okay. Satisfying enough."

"That doesn't sound like you really enjoyed it very much Saru." He points out.

"It was fine... Really." he assures, pulling his wallet out. He sets some money on the table to cover both of their meals.

"Saru are you sure? I can pay for myself. Really." The vanguard tries in an effort to pay for his food. He wanted to pay for both of them but a bet was a bet and he'd lost. But no one said he couldn't pay for himself.

"It's fine. I can pay for this." Saru assures, making it clear that he wasn't taking Yata's money or letting him pay for himself.

They walk home in comfortable silence, some small talk every now and again and it's once again nostalgic. It feels…nice and Yata hasn't felt this way around Saruhiko since…well since he left to join Scepter 4…since he turned his back on him. But the redhead was done caring about that now. He'd felt what it was like to think that his best friend, the person who had gotten him through the hell of middle school and countless times after that, the person who's lived with him and helped him create a small world just for them…to think that he was gone.

No, he was done living with regrets. Even if Saru never forgave him for whatever he was mad at, even if he still wanted nothing to do with him, he was moving forward.

 


End file.
